women's underwear

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women's underwear

Postby dan21 » Fri May 28, 2010 4:17 pm

hi, i'm a 21 year old guy with a problem. i'm completely straight but love to wear knickers under my normal clothes. i have girlfriends and when i get close to them and admit this they either laugh at me or dump me immediately. i'm scared if people find out they will think i'm gay which i am not. will there be any girls out there who can accept me or will i just be a lonely freak for the rest of my life?
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Re: women's underwear

Postby Bel Bel » Fri May 28, 2010 4:24 pm

I don't think you will be a lonely freak
Girls are probably scared it means your gay or you might want to take it further and start cross dressing fully
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Re: women's underwear

Postby dan21 » Fri May 28, 2010 4:37 pm

thanks for the reply.
but that's the thing, i don't want to fully crossdress. i'm gonna sound weird again but i just prefer the feel of knickers instead of horrible mens underwear.
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Re: women's underwear

Postby spacegirl » Sun May 30, 2010 2:48 pm

to be completely honest, if i was getting close to a guy who then admitted he wore women's underwear... i don't think i could get past it, personally. I consider myself to be quite open minded, but this is just too much of a taboo i think. it also wouldn't really strike me as just a comfort thing straight away either, i would definitely associate it with the sexual/cross-dressing side of things. i think maybe you're going to have to compromise here... hopefully you do find someone who could accept this but maybe keep it to yourself until you both feel completely comfortable with each other and she's not likely to completely dismiss it, and certainly wouldn't laugh at you (which is really horrible if people have done that) - then you yourself can judge her reaction and if it's positive and accepting, great - if not you'll have to make the choice between the girl and the underwear.
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Re: women's underwear

Postby retrochav » Wed Jun 09, 2010 1:58 pm

Lets get one thing very clear - being gay means being attracted to people of the same sex. As i am a gay man i have no interest in wearing anything belonging to a woman - its just not going to turn me on.

Most guys who like wearing womens clothes do so because it makes them feel closer to women - hence most men who cross dress are straight. This is entirely different from men who feel they should have been born women, and then go on to have a sex change. Hence Transvestites wear womens clothes (or mens clothes) as a sexual comfort, transexuals wear womens clothes (or mens) as they feel they are born into the wrong body, and drag artists wear womens (or mens) clothes to entertain.

The girls you have met so far lack the education to understand the difference. There are plently of women who see this for what it is, a way of expressing your femine side. No one thinks it odd for women to wear jeans and trousers - although 100 years ago it would have been shocking. Time will change things.

For further advice and support, why not check out the Beaumont society who provide support. In the meantime, remeber you are a perfectly normal straight lad who happens to enjoy the feel of womens clothes.
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Re: women's underwear

Postby ILoveChristmas » Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:52 pm

retrochav wrote:The girls you have met so far lack the education to understand the difference.


That might be true retrochav, and I understand your desire to clarify the differences you did, but I don't think it's the issue Dan's experiencing.

I think the women he meets do understand that he isn't gay, but as spacegirl said, it's seen as such a social taboo. There is also a significant difference between women wearing trousers and men wearing women's underwear. 100 years ago women did regularly wear trousers in the workplace but it wasn't fashionable and therefore not worn as normal dress. Wearing women's underwear is completely different, it's a distinctly feminine item of clothing.

None of the last paragraph should give you, Dan, the impression that I think you should stop what you're doing. Do what makes you happy and comfortable. People need to accept you for who you are, nobody can expect you to change something that does no harm to anyone else. What I do feel you need to do is alter your method of broaching the subject with the women you meet. Why not keep it as something private until you're in a long term relationship that's very well established?

I can understand the idea that it's better to get it into the open as early as possible, but I think the 'newness' of a relationship combined with the perceived ease of ending things the earlier into a relationship you are spells disaster when you drop what is, let's not pretend, a bit of a bombshell for a lot of people.

It'd mean a little restrain on your part, i.e. not wearing women's underwear when your girlfriend was likely to see them etc, but I do think it'd be extremely rare to find a woman who would be completely happy with the idea from the off, without having an already stable relationship to reflect on.
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Re: women's underwear

Postby retrochav » Fri Jun 11, 2010 9:11 am

[quote="ILoveChristmas"]It'd mean a little restrain on your part, i.e. not wearing women's underwear when your girlfriend was likely to see them etc, but I do think it'd be extremely rare to find a woman who would be completely happy with the idea from the off, without having an already stable relationship to reflect on.[/quote]

I can certainly see where IloveChristmas is comming from, but the reality is that it is just a garment of clothing. Additionally, there are women who attend cross dressing events because they find men in womens clothing attractive - so its not as extremely rare as you might first think. As for women in trousers - right up until the 1970s some firms banned women from wearing them - noteably toy maker MATEL, which might suprise people. It was only when Mrs Handler wore a trouser suit to a meeting that women began to flout that ruling.

I mentioned the differences because dan said he was scared that people might think he is gay, and it is a common misconception see regularly in womens problem pages when a partner finds her man in womens clothing.

Whilst restraint might be called for, what is the point of denying yourself something you enjoy? If the girl doesnt accept it, then there will only be problems for the future. For years people who are gay have been told to show restraint - and pandering to ignorance simply causes internal oppression. Far better to attend the venues where it wouldnt be a problem in the first place - hence me and bel bel's suggestion to consult with the beaumont society.
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Re: women's underwear

Postby RagDoll » Fri Jun 11, 2010 1:54 pm

I'm going to add another women's perspective to this one...

I think whilst I'd initially be shocked and a bit worried about what it meant if my boyfriend started wearing women's pants, I wouldn't dump him. I will admit that at first, I would worry that it meant he had gay tendancies (Retrochav - I understand it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with a persons' sexual preference, but it would cross my mind) and/or that he was going to gradually become more and more feminine and eventually wear women's clothes, BUT if he explained it was nothing like that and reassured me, I'd accept it. I wouldn't think it was exactly ideal, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker as long as it was something which was kept private and between the two of us.
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