do i stay or do i go?

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do i stay or do i go?

Postby techiechick120 » Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:23 pm

ok im a lesbian aged 35 with 3 kids been with my gf for almost 3 and half yrs shes 38.problem is a year ago she used to live with me until she got this big dog which I couldnt cope with as it caused damage to my house (such as kitchen cupboards,door frames and kitchen lino) and garden (it dug it up so much it turned into a mud pit and was full of rubbish stolen from kitchen bin) and half time i couldnt send my kids to school cos it had had their shoes,I lost it one day,she was off to see her parents with the dog and I noticed it had chewed a chunk out of my cupboard so i said dont come back with that dog ever again.
although wed still "see one another" without the dog,shed hesitate about finding it a home and still is and its almost a year later since i told her not to bring the dog back here.We see each other once a week and she sleeps over we have great sex and im beginning to think thats all it ever will be.Im confused to wether this is just lust and not love and its tearing me up inside.
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Re: do i stay or do i go?

Postby RagDoll » Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:30 pm

The issue with the dog seems to be a large part of your post - am I right in thinking that you're implying you don't know why she hasn't got rid of the dog so you can spend more time together?
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Re: do i stay or do i go?

Postby techiechick120 » Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:45 pm

it is a big issue,cos she keeps asking me do i want to have a baby with her (she wants her own child) and like how can i when we live apart and shes 25 miles away.
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Re: do i stay or do i go?

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Aug 20, 2010 12:48 pm

Why don't you ask her that question, how on earth can we have a baby when your dog is more important than me?
I accept people love their pets but this pet was very destructive. If she can't get rid of the dog and you can't have a resonable amount of time living together first (to ensure she gets on with all your kids etc)then you shouldn't be having a baby anyway.
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Re: do i stay or do i go?

Postby retrochav » Sun Aug 22, 2010 10:08 pm

I'm sad to say that the question posed can only be answered by your partner. The fact that she wants you both to have a child is a positive, and the fact your sex life is healthy also seems promising.

As a mum of 3, you clearly have the experiance to co-parent a child, and she probably see's you as a person who would provide loving support. However, you will have to consider how your children will feel with a new arrival taking up so much of your time and your partners.

You will also of course have concerns about a baby with a dog in the house. This would be a good way to open discussion with her, as dogs can get jealous.

As there are big decisions to be made that will hugely impact the relationship, you really need answers before moving forward.
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Re: do i stay or do i go?

Postby amie-jo » Tue Aug 24, 2010 8:40 pm

I think she should rehome the dog because if she loves you she wouldnt want to be away from you.
I dont have a choice but be away from my lady she works over 2 and a half hour drive away if she didnt and the dog was the issue id be rid of the dog because i love her,sorry i havent been very possitive but im a out sider looking in,good luck hope things sort them selfs out
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Re: do i stay or do i go?

Postby Sussexlady » Tue Aug 31, 2010 12:04 pm

Just wanted to say this, because nobody else has ---- there exist thousands of dog trainers all over the UK who can take a dog with behaviour problems like that one and retrain it to stop doing such things.

Why ruin a perfectly good relationship when all you need to do is get the dog trained?
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