Frightened!

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Frightened!

Postby bethd_15 » Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:12 pm

This, to me, is sort of an embarrassing problem so I thought I'd write it anonymously on here. I'm 16 and I've never really had a proper boyfriend. That's not so much the problem as I've had boys like me, had a short-lived relationship and I've kissed boys. But there's a boy that I have been texting for quite a while now and we both really like each other. Recently we have started talking a little more in person; we're both quite shy so it's progress. The problem is, if we met up properly, I'd be scared that it would be awkward or there wouldn't be anything to talk about, as I'm a bit more timid in person, especially with people I like. It's easier through text because you can think of an answer, etc. Even more of a problem for me is the intimate stuff. I can never see myself being ready to do "stuff" or having sex, as a) I know I'd find it awkward and embarassing b) I'm just scared in general. I don't want to talk about this sort of stuff to other people so I'm looking for a helpful answer on here. I also feel a bit left behind, as many other people in my year have had these experiences so any advice on getting over my fears would be good. :)
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Re: Frightened!

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Dec 17, 2010 11:42 am

I wouldn't worry abput the intimate stuff yet. It just happens because you will get natural urges. You may not be the type to dress up and do a strip fo your guy but you will get close and it will just happen naturally. Also once you build that close relationship you may find you can realax and be more open.
As for this boy can you arrange a mixed group to go out and invite him and a friend along. That way you don't feel under pressure to male conversation but can do easily.
You have nothing to lose by giving it a go.
If you already talk to him i'm sure you know lots of stuff about him so just talk about stuff you know he likes and he'll probably do the sme and the conversation will just flow. If you over think it you will get tongue tied.
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Re: Frightened!

Postby janieou » Sat Dec 18, 2010 8:56 pm

Another idea would be to find something that you both like doing, going to see a film, going for a walk, swimming etc, then it would be like just going out with a friend, also you instantly have something that you can talk about together. The intimate bit will happen later, but don't forget he will probably be feeling a bit awkard about that too, so don't see it as pressure, you certainly don't need to see that anything your not ready for, should automatically be expected of you. Have a bit of fun together to see if you really enjoy each others company.
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