Friend turned nasty

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Friend turned nasty

Postby thesmallprint » Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:38 pm

This is a long story but here goes...

I dated my best friends brother before christmas time, we broke up, he was still very much into me. She wasnt pleased about this and decided to claim i was messing him about. I was not, nor did he think so.

This situation has got out of hand to where recently she has been posting immature nasty remarks about me on facebook, and talking to people who are supposidly my friends about me and they have been doing the same. I decided to ignore it and not say anything back because in my opinion, for 18 year olds this is rather childish.

Anyway, we both share the same best friend and he does not want to get involved in this and i am feeling very sorry for him being stuck in the middle of this. He had told her to say something to me to try and sort this out between us.

She sent me a text basically saying that we clash and she doesnt want to continue being my friend, i did not recieve this text till about an hour after she had sent it, so she began with abusive texts telling me if i had any common decency id reply. I did reply (even if i didnt she was looking for an argument anyway). She began to get nasty and telling me that people I think are my friends don't even like me and everyone thinks i'm stuck up, love myself and boring with no personality. Apparently I'm also thick and whinge and complain about everything too, however she said this in a much more nastier way to where she was telling me that it was to 'take me down a peg or two'.
I continued not to say anything harsh back and tried to keep calm and argue without stooping down to that level.

She ended up with the last word and continued to post harsh remmarks about me with her friends, she deleted me off facebook and my mother got really angry that she had ground me down so much that she rang her and told her she would get the police involved if she continues to behave like this because she is in my class at college and this isnt the first time shes done this to someone and this girl ended up leaving the course because of her. It's going to be hard because we share the same best friend and the same circle of friends at college. I'm feeling very paranoid that people don't like me now, when i feel i've done nothing wrong.

I'm worried I don't actually have a personality now, and i think i may have aspects of narcissism and this has really made me feel very low. We only have a few month left at college I dont want to ruin my career or friendships because of her but i'm starting to doubt myself and wonder if I am boring.

Sorry it's so long, does anyone have any advice on this situation at all? It'd be very much apriciated.
thesmallprint
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Re: Friend turned nasty

Postby dayle » Wed Feb 02, 2011 2:23 pm

Wow, she sounds like quite an unpleasant person. Try and keep this in mind that a) she's done this before and b) decent people don't attack someone else about their personality or other people not liking them anyway. In other words, the things she's saying and doing speak volumes about her but nothing about you. She presumably knows you quite well, so knows where to hit you to make you feel rubbish. It makes her an unpleasant bully, but it doesn't make her right. I find it highly unlikely that she's acting as a spokesman for other people - if she was your best friend, then people wouldn't have said anything to her. I do think your other best friend is weak - her behaviour isn't that of a silly mutual fall out, it's bullying.

The best friends I've made have been since college, people who are genuine and compassionate. In the meantime, focus on your studies as much as possible. I know it's really hard, but in a couple of years this girl will be completely irrelevant to you. Be your normal self with your friends and try not to engage with her when she's being unpleasant.
dayle
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