Lost Myself

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Lost Myself

Postby Mikey262626 » Sun Mar 06, 2011 12:20 am

Hello,
I'm 18, 19 in a month I'm in my first year at university in London. my grades are average, im relatively fit, don't want to blow my own trumpet but im nott bad looking, im in the 1st Team for my Uni Rugby team and I have been scouted by rugby clubs (I won't go pro of anything but Its nice), I have a good group of friends at uni, im unemployed but I have a 4 month summer job as a kayaking instructor which is good pay. Ive got over 500 hours of voluntary work I did with special needs group at my work, taking disabled groups out canoeing and I've found that really rewarding. I'm single, both my long term girlfriends have cheated on me but afterwards told me that I was the best boyfriend ever and that It really wasn't my fault. Ive got a good family life, manage to afford to run my car (just) and I have an ok nightlife.

So heres my problem, how can I feel just so lost. I used to do anything to get out of the house, anything sportsy wise and i'd be there, tried so many sports. But recently I just feel like Ive lost who I am, its hard to explain, I mean I should be feeling pretty great Ive sampled so many clutures already, Ive got friends from all over the world and I love it because I get to sample each different country and culture with them; China, Russia, india, pakistan, Brazil, Spain, Italy, Malaysian, Nigerian etc. And I have a gay best friend which I get alot of stick from the rugby lads but it really doesn't bother me. but at the moment all I can think about is getting the hell out of here. I feel completely bored and unenthuastic about everything, everythings become so rountine and boring. Ive spent so many years being the organiser in my friends, the one everyone leans to when they have a problem, the guy with the sense of humour thats good to cheer everyone up. My sex life isn't great but to be honest that doesn't bother me too much, some of my friends have slept with 20+ people and, to be honest, I don't want to do that, I like it that ive only slept with people that Ive had true feelings for even if that is 3.

I just feel like I need to do something, anything exciting or new just to get out of this place. Ive been thinking of doing some relief work abroad somewhere for the summer, I enjoy helping and I was thinking of doing it after graduating anyway. But since I feel so down, unenthuastic and I feel like I need to really find out who I am and what I am truly capable of.
Has anyone else felt this way and what did they do about it?
And does anyone know of how to get involved with relief/charitable work abroad?
I just feel like Ive lost who I am and I need to find who I truly am.
Mikey262626
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Re: Lost Myself

Postby Flocon » Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:57 pm

Hi !
I felt exactly the same way one year ago. I found my life boring and I decided to live more dangerously!
You might feel comfortable in your life full of habits and daily routine but a part of you wants adventure; However I don’t expect you to leave everything behind you and go living in Africa! :D
Your life doesn’t seem empty at all, but you could introduce some unforeseen every day (by example: talk to unknown people, practice new language, go to unknown places…). Try things you never did before…We never know until we try!
First you will learn to know what you dislike so you’ll learn more about yourself and your limits. However this unexpected experience could be a very pleasant surprise...
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Re: Lost Myself

Postby snail » Wed Mar 09, 2011 6:11 pm

If you really want to work abroad, the obvious first place to start is with VSO:
http://www.vso.org.uk/
but to be honest it sounds as though you've done things like that already and they haven't fulfilled you. Perhaps you have been 'ticking boxes' - doing things that ought to be ideal, but that somehow aren't what you are really looking for. It would be useful to spend some time working out what you really want and need at a deep level.
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

Annie Dillard
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