Feeling like I should call it quits

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Feeling like I should call it quits

Postby lil-Laura » Sun Mar 20, 2011 5:34 am

Hey

I am not sure where to put this but I need to vent....

I have a disability things can get quite bad and I have alot of deal with but I cope

I have always enjoyed writing it has always been a way for me to cope with everything going on in my life. I have no confidence in myself, low self esteem and no confidence in my writing. This was made worse when in my second year of university on my writing course the tutor wouldn't be bothered and wasn't much help. I had to have time off because of health and he wasn't interested in helping me at all... Even though I kept up to date with everything he gave me a D overall because of my time off etc...
That made me feel my wiring and I was worthless...

I have taken a gap year out to think before continuing my final year I am due to go back in September but dont know if I should bother, because I feel I dont have the talent and my writing is rubbish after all the set backs I have had... I recently entered a writing contest there was a few mess ups so only 4 people entered and I cam last place....

I am beginning to not want to write even though I enjoy it, I dont want to write just for the joy of writing I wanted it to go somewhere because that's the career I wanted... Also with my disability its very hard to work in a lot of jobs...

I dont know what to do with my life I am currently unemployed after leaving my job because I was on the verge of being fired anyway because of my time off and because I wasnt doing the job well... it was in a very stressful...They had ridiculously high targets...

I just dont know what to do....
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Re: Feeling like I should call it quits

Postby ILoveChristmas » Tue Mar 22, 2011 10:51 am

Hello Laura,

Obviously I don't know what kind of disability you have, and I don't know in exactly what way it affects you, but does your university know about it and the effect it has on you?

Ultimately you need to be able to do the work to a high standard to pass at university, but it doesn't sound to me like that's your problem so much as a lack of support. Have you spoken to the university about the exact reason for your 'D' grade? If you knew that it was 'only' your absence that had made you fall short in terms of your grade then you could gain a lot of confidence in your ability as a writer.

Remember that the university, and your former employer for that matter, is obliged to make certain reasonable concessions to accomodate your disability. For example, you would probably be entitled to certain extensions on deadlines, and additional student support.

Before returning to university in September I think you should practise your writing as much and as often as possible. A good way of finding material to write about would be to study the news every day, pick a few top stories and write your own piece on them. That would at least give you a constant supply of new material, and there's no saying you have to keep it factual. You could put your own fictional spin on it and turn it into a piece of creative writing.

Possibly the most important thing for you would be to have various people read, critique and edit your writing. That way you have a method of improving as you write. Even once you're back at university keep up the critique/edit cylce with family members or friends. My family must have been sick of the sight of my dissertation by the end of it, but it made for a much better result.

In short, practise your writing, investigate the support options available to you and don't lose heart in it. Remember the enjoyment you get from writing and focus on that.

If the structured university life is stifling your writing then look into Open University courses on it. That way you get to study/write in your own environment that you know and feel comfortable in.
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive. - Stephen Fry.

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. — Steve Furtick
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