Is it me or is it them?!

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Is it me or is it them?!

Postby Chickadee81 » Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:16 pm

Hey all!

Have just come in for a bit of a reality check to see whether I am being irrational or whether any other person would be acting the same way I am at the moment.... sorry it's so long :oops:

Last August I started to share a house with one other girl, Tanya. She is/was a close friend of mine that I also work alongside. Her partner, who is female - although that has nothing to do with anything - (Rae) is also another very close friend of mine, moreso infact than my housemate as I have known her longer and generally have more in common with her.

When I first moved in to the house with Tanya she was going out with a man, had never had a girlf, was never interested in girls etc etc until she got close to Rae at work - (we all work together in the same office, I am Raes direct manager and Tanya works in the same office but for a different department) The relationship, whilst not entirely one-sided is mainly kept up by Rae, who ADORES Tan and would do anything she asked her to do. They do argue and boy when they argue do I know about it as I am friends with both of them!

My issue at the minute is that due to the fact that she could no longer afford to rent her flat, Rae has now unofficially moved in with us. I say unofficially as she does not pay any rent or help with any bills. Tanya paid for a vacation for them both and they came back 2 weeks ago and since then things have gone downhill rapildly!

Since they came back they are both out of cash, so have been helping themselves to my stuff left right and centre! It culminating in me nearly losing it with the pair of them last week and since then I have only spoken to Rae at work and have not spoken to Tanya at all.

I woke up as normal for work - they start an hour earlier than I do which means that they use the bathroom in the morning before I do - I went into the bathroom, had my morning wee to find that the last of the loo roll had been used... so I had to use expensive make-up remover wipes. I then went to take a shower and there was no hot water left. This is not the first time, but when added to the next thing that ticked me off it has just all built up. As I was jumping out of the way of the freezing cold water I noticed that my very expensive shower gel had been totally used up, I go to brush my teeth and the smidgen of my toothpaste that I knew needed replacing... yup you guessed it.... HAD BEEN USED!

At this point I was pretty disgruntled, so I went and got some clothes out of my closet, went into the dining room where we keep our iron board and leant over it as usual to switch on the plug and someone had left the iron on, this burnt all of my side and yet again someone had scorched something on it and left black goo all over the plate which was now all over my skin. By this time I was raging! Regardless of the fact that I got burnt we had a winter electricity bill of $2000 and if I hadn't noticed, albeit by burning myself, that the iron had been left on then it would have been on all day and cost ME money!!

I got to work, late, and only spoke to Rae about work related stuff all day. After my shift I went out with some friends, I got a few messages asking if I was ok and "have I done something to upset you" but at this point I was too angry to talk. My anger was then compunded by the fact that Tanya on her Facebook announced that she was taking the both of them on holiday again for another week in the sun! Basically what happens is Tanya pays for the holdiay and Rae takes the spending money..... by this point I could have spat feathers. She should be saving money to find a place to live, not going on holiday!!!

We haven't spoken since then other than purely for work related issues - I have no need to speak to Tanya at work so I haven't spoken to her now for a week.

Another thing that I am annoyed with the pair of them about is the state they keep their pet bunny in. They bought a really cute dwarf-lop ear bunny together, it was the flavor of the week for literally about a week. Until Rae had to give up her flat it lived there, when she moved out they both moved in. It now resides in our conservatory. I looked after it every day that they were away, scooped its poop etc etc. Since they came back 2 weeks ago the poor creature hasn't been cleaned, fed or watered by either of them. I couldn't watch her suffer any more so I went to the pet-store yesterday and bought all of the stuff to clean him with. I didn't get so much as a thanks, although I wasn't really expecting it, I don't see why that responsibility has to fall down to me?!
I don't want to live in the house with both of them..... I don't mind out helping a friend in need but if she has money to go on holiday then she has moeny to get a flat! I didn't sign up for living with a couple that argue like they do, it makes me feel akward in my own home and that isn't fair. I am not saying that they argue the whole time but now Rae lives with us she has nowhere to go to if Tan throws one of her infamous strops.... she is quite a diva and HAS to have her own way..... she can be quite cruel to Rae at times, which is another thing I dislike.

I have tried to write them a letter to explain how I am feeling but I am still too angry with the whole situation. I am going to my boyfriends parents for the weekend this weekend to realx and unwind and hopefully calm down a little and try and resolve things when I get back, although not sure how I am going to do this!

After reading the above do you think that I am justified to have a problem with what is going on or am I just being pedantic? Some advice would be great as I can sometimes be quite stubborn and if it is genuinely me then I will go out of my way to sort the issue, although like I said, I am not sure how to go about it.....

Sorry it's so long... feels a little better just to get it all out of my system!
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Re: Is it me or is it them?!

Postby Ticktock » Thu Jul 14, 2011 7:13 pm

They sound like a pair of selfish teenagers...

Just to clarify, you said you share a house with Tanya, do you jointly own, or does she pay rent, it will make a difference to an answer.
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Re: Is it me or is it them?!

Postby Chickadee81 » Sun Jul 31, 2011 9:32 am

Me and Tanya jointly rent - Rae is technically homeless/living with us for free at them minute.
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Re: Is it me or is it them?!

Postby snail » Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:38 am

How are things now, Chickadee? I really feel you should sit down and tell them what you've told us, i.e. if you have money to go on holiday you have money to buy your own things and/or move out - although that's difficult it's likely to be less destructive than holding it in and then blowing your top. It's just not on that you have another person living there that you didn't agree to, for free, and that your stuff is being used. I really worry about the poor rabbit too.
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