No friends atm.... or feels that way

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No friends atm.... or feels that way

Postby Ramza126 » Sun Oct 09, 2011 9:42 pm

I am 20 years old, I grew up with the best friends I could ever wish for, we had awesome fun together playing sport, tag, hanging out on the estate late at night (we lived 3 doors down from each other), football, you name it. My two brothers were also in this social circle, that totalled 6 of us. Two more of my best friends then moved into the estate I lived in so the 8 of us were best mates, over the years I had some great memories especially summer time spent every waking hour pretty much in each others' company great fun, then, we disbanded, elder brothers went to college/work, we were starting high school/secondary school, my two other friends moved away, i was now 12, we barely seen each other even tho we lived so close, don't know why we stopped seeing each other so much, we didn't play much football any more or hang out, summers were no longer the time to spend with friends non stop etc, (which it pretty much shud be at my age), over those 5 years in school i went very introvertive and didn't make any new friends, people liked me but i did not make any social circles and avoided any contact.

Thing is I hated myself for it I am usually very outgoing, extremely friendly etc, i feel like i wasted my teenage years, every day i think about all the times i could have had, memories i could have made, i wasted all of my summers spent inside or just kicking a football around, i was depressed a lot over it, i keep thinking my last real memory is from the age of 12/13 before things went bad. I hate it and want to get over it

Now I am 20 and in college, have a bit of a weight problem and i feel it holds me back but i do not think about it and i am trying to lose weight. i pretty much have no friends, my current "friends" who i mentioned in the opening paragraph, now do not want to do anything, they dont go out, ever, even we weekend, we have not had a proper night out in almost 2 years, its making me very angry because i want to enjoy my youth and not waste it, i think it's selfish. i hate seeing people on fb put up all their photos and relationship statuses when i am stuck inside on weekends staring at a computer screen or sleeping cause of depression

feel like a loser, I feel like I HAVE soooo much to offer to people and also i am very outgoing and confident, want to enjoy life and not be held back by my shitty friends, i can't believe i am called them shitty friends but i am so hissed off with them right now, i don't expect their lives to revolve around me but i try to talk to them on a daily, or arrange nights out on weekend and they shrug it off and throw it in my face, they seem so distant =[

i am optimistic about making college friends but if i feel like i don't i will end up like this for the rest of my life, i am really upset over what i think are wasted years and memories, like when i think of all the YEARS, thats thousands of days... depresses me no end, i am now 20 and feel so old compared to my 12/13 when i used to be happy, don't want to muck this up and just want some advice or want to know what anyone thinks of my situation
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Re: No friends atm.... or feels that way

Postby captainf » Sun Oct 09, 2011 10:48 pm

Regarding your long term friends - What is it that they like doing these days? I understand you say that they arent interested in nights out. Maybe pubs and clubs arent their thing. Maybe their idea of a boys night together is having a few beers and playing xbox or something like that? There is nothing wrong with that. I personally have no interest in clubs and rarely drink and i'm happy. Maybe you can try embracing their interests as this may lead to you having new interests and rekindling your friendships with your long term friends too. Altneratively, you could say through difference in interests you have drifted but I feel this would be ashame.

The only other thing you can do is try and take an interest in people in your class. Spend time with them and see if good bonds of friendship form. You can also try other things like taking up a new hobby or class as a means to meet even more people and develop new friendships.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
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Re: No friends atm.... or feels that way

Postby Jonaslove » Mon Oct 17, 2011 12:41 am

I agree that maybe you should try and maybe arrange something that they are interested in.
If you are not interested in the same sorts of things anymore then maybe you will just have to accept that and move on. I definitely agree that joining a club can help. You mentioned wanting to lose weight so is there a sport that you are interested in playing? It doesn't matter if you're not very good or don't know all the rules thats what the clubs are for, to help you learn and get better! I really think this would help your situation, I joined a netball team and have gained some life long friends and we go out all the time!
When you join a team it also helps you to bond quicker as you all have to support and help each other out in matches etc.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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