Losing my head!

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Losing my head!

Postby Raven » Sun Oct 16, 2011 2:42 pm

Hi everyone,

I signed up to an internet dating site a month or so ago, had a few dates but one in particular was great and we have seen each other twice since and organised to meet again. Thing is, I CANNOT stop thinking about him, he gives me butterflies and I reeeeeally like him. I'm pretty much obsessed and I've actually never felt this way (not even about my two previous boyfriends). Anyone got any advice on how to STOP being a psycho? I don't even know how much he's into me and he may even be dating other girls so nothing is certain. I think I just need to chill out. I should date other guys but I'm not bothered about anyone else! The other day I didn't hear off him for only 2 days and I felt a bit down about it. I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. I am actually in a different country at the moment so to get into a relationship (if that ever happened anyway) would mess up all my travel plans. We have already slept together too so I think I may have ruined the whole "chase" thing too! But I just couldn't resist!

Somebody tell me to chill the f out?! And do other girls obsess like this or is it just me? Lol.

Thanks in advance.

xx
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Re: Losing my head!

Postby snail » Mon Oct 17, 2011 8:31 pm

Yeah, I think everybody feels like that at some point :) I'm not sure there's much you can do about it; it might help to think that, if it's meant to work out, it will work out, so you don't need to be so anxious about it. It might also be useful to think about what you really want - are you in such a tizzy because you aren't really sure if you want it to work or not (bearing in mind your travel plans)? When you're wound up about something but you don't even know what outcome it is that you want, that can be very unsettling.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: Losing my head!

Postby Raven » Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:08 am

Yeah I think that was it Snail.

Anyway, he started to mess me around so I've nipped it in the bud. MEN!
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Re: Losing my head!

Postby Raven » Fri Oct 28, 2011 6:22 am

Hi, sorry to resurrect this topic. But can someone advise me seeing as I'm not thinking like a rational being. I thought I'd nipped it in the bud but I didnt..

We arranged a date, never heard off him all week so got in touch to ask what time we were meeting, no reply. No answer to call. He finally texted me a few hours later, saying "i'm not at the museum.." (he was going to give me a tour) - even though we agreed a week ago that he'd do that. So I said, no worries, let's go to the beach..then he said his "beach body wasnt ready for the beach." Thinking he was joking I said which beach is best, he said "for waves, scenery?" So I said "any", then I didn't hear another peep off him. I drew my own conclusion that he wasnt interested, so I sent him a message saying "I'm not pyschic but can take a hint, I take it you're not interested? YOu neednt reply to this message then I'll know for sure". He actually replied and put: "I'm sorry but just had a big weekend. I'm keen to meet you again. I really really didnt mean to screw you around, sorry. You're better off finding a chiselled-out man for the beach but anything else I am willing to do". WTF?

I said I do NOT appreciate being messed around, was he willing to redeem himself and he said yes. I've sent him friendly messages since, to which I got one reply. He oesn't text me anymore either. Am I being stupid hanging around? I don't want to be made a mug of, but if he SAYS he's still interested what am I supposed to think? I really like him, and although it peed me off him being stupid, I'm willing to give him a 2nd chance. How should I leave it? I deleted his number so I wouldnt text him..Shall I just move on?

I'm busy for the next few weeks so can't see him anyway. Not sure what to say, if anything to him. Thought maybe I'd leave it in his court ...oh Idont know.

Thanks x
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Losing my head!

Postby Skarlet » Fri Oct 28, 2011 8:09 am

Delete his number, don't contact him unless he gets in touch with you. I had a similar thing happen. Went on a date, liked him asked if he wanted to meet up, yeh of course and then I asked when and no response. I text him a few more times and then thought I'll delete his number. Tellingly he never got back in touch.
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Re: Losing my head!

Postby snail » Fri Oct 28, 2011 10:06 am

I agree, leave it and see if he contacts you. If he wants to be with you, he'll get in touch.

The dating game is so fraught; there are so many reasons people change their minds or back out and they don't always know themselves what they want. At least you've got stuff to keep you busy.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: Losing my head!

Postby Raven » Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:15 pm

Thanks. Funnily enough I read an article on the same dating site which made so much sense - it says how we make these men seem so much important than ourselves when we should just be focusing on ourselves and let men come and go. I haven't contacted him since and no way am I chasing after him.

Feel much better! x
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