I can't seem to get anything right

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I can't seem to get anything right

Postby was » Sat Jan 28, 2012 10:33 am

I can't seem to get anything right. As soon as I think something good is happening, it always seems to mess up-and I'm left feeling rubbish for ever more. It almost feels like I'm being punished.
Last year I had two periods of quite severe depression, almost lost my job because of it-and finished the year believing that all I'm ever set up for is disappointment.

At the beginning of last year, I started seeing a wonderful girl ( also a work colleague) -and really felt that things were actually changing for the good. I was really unhappy with most other aspects of my life, hated my job-but was really happy with the relationship, having not been with anyone for years. She was wonderful-but finished the relationship a couple of monthes in. I was devastated-and slipped (finally) into depression, feeling that nothing I ever did went right.
She has told me that it was nothing to do with me why she finished it-but I don't whole heartedly believe her-knowing she is too good for me.
All my life I've been told I'm fat, ugly, or stupid. In work situations, in the past, people have tried to set me up with girls for a laugh-and all through school, and beyond, I was constantly told I was rubbish.

All I seem to do is mess things up. I can't make anything work out. Other people seem to be able to form relationships, get good jobs, and make things work for themselves-but I can't, and it's really messing me up.
I've been receiving councilling, intermittently, for a number of months, but feel like I'm a walking advertisement for how not to live life-and have considered ending it.
Other people have talents and skills-but I look at what I do and just think that I'm just a f23k up, who can't do anything-or learn anything.

Sorry
was
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Re: I can't seem to get anything right

Postby Tucco » Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:31 pm

Hi mate,
not sure if I can help but thought I would try as you are still waiting for responses.
To be blunt it seems as though all the nasty negative things you have been subjected to are causing you to feel this way, those people are the ones who are worthless and NOT you.
We all make mistakes of various kinds, you just have to learn from them and move on. I am nearly 50 and made a stupid mistake at the end of last year, luckily nothing came of it so you live and learn.
As for relathionships, well thats a rocky road for everyone, if it did not work out she is not the right one for you.
Keep going with the councilling and hopefully things will get better.
Dont ever give up, be yourself and things will improve.
Best of luck.
Tucco
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Re: I can't seem to get anything right

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:03 pm

I agree your negativity is a result of your past but you perpetuate the problem now by viewing everything negatively.
Things go wrong in peoples lives everyday it's how you deal with.

If you feel the conselling isn't progressing I would suggest trying cognitive therapy as it actually teaches you ways to think differently.

You say you weren't good enough for this girl but she went out with you so superficially you must be fine. Maybe you did scare her off with your negativity, who knows but one failed realtionship certainly doesn't make you a loser. Many people go through several relationships before finding the one

Personally I would get yourself into a happier state before introducing the complication of a relationship into the mix.

You obviously aren't a loser either because you have had jobs, several by the sound of it so you have got through interviews and been able to put a cv together than made people interview you in the first place.

I am not saying it will be easy to start with but whenever you are negative you have to try and focus on the good things you do have and things that have gone well that perhaps you have not really thought about
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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