Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

For any worries about education in general.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby emotionalwreck_ » Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:20 pm

Hello, well it's the Easter holidays now and since I have a lot of exams coming up, I've decided to revise loads over the holidays. I'm really worried about my exams since I did really bad on the January ones and so I'm having to retake some as well as doing the summer ones in summer and I really need to get the grades for uni, so I'm feeling a lot of pressure. The problem is that my friend always asks me to go out a lot during the holidays but I can't afford to lose the time I have for revising as I don't have a lot of time as it is. So I told her I couldn't go out a lot and would go out once and explained to her that I needed to revise but she said that I needed to have breaks as the information won't go in, which I know and will do, but I like having my breaks at home because if I go out I know I will out for a few hours with not that much time to revise whereas at home i have time to revise but I still have time to relax. She also told me that I needed to have a holiday as well but I told her that I would have all summer for a holiday and then the conversation stopped. I've been thinking about this a lot and I can't help thinking that I'm a rubbish friend that should go out with her more and I'm being unreasonable. But then I'm also thinking that if I do go out then I might regret it if it has an impact on my results. I don't know what to do, could you please advise me? And I don't know whether to start talking to her because I'm worried she might be mad at me as she hasn't spoken to me since.
Last edited by emotionalwreck_ on Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
emotionalwreck_
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:05 pm

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby highlandcow » Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:36 pm

That's a tough one, but I think that if she is a true friend then she should understand. If your results are at stake then I think you should knuckle down to those books! You've already had to re-sit them, so I'm sure you wouldn't to do all that again.
Maybe give yourself a break once a week or so to meet up, but she should really understand if you can't do more than that. If you give in and fail your exams, then you'll only end up resenting the friendship, leaving it in an even worse shape.

If you can, try and plan some amazing stuff for when you're all done. :D
Last edited by highlandcow on Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

- Billy Connolly
User avatar
highlandcow
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1008
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:22 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Gender: Female

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby emotionalwreck_ » Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:43 pm

highlandcow wrote:That's a tough one, but I think that if she is a true friend then she should understand. If your results are at stake then I think you shouldn't knuckle down to those books! You've already had to re-sit them, so I'm sure you wouldn't to do all that again.
Maybe give yourself a break once a week or so to meet up, but she should really understand if you can't do more than that. If you give in and fail your exams, then you'll only end up resenting the friendship, leaving it in an even worse shape.

If you can, try and plan some amazing stuff for when you're all done. :D


Thank you! That was really good advice :) The thing is she hasn't spoken to me since, but I'm not sure whether to talk to her or not as I'm worried she's mad at me. But if I don't talk to her then I would look like bad. Should I talk to her?
User avatar
emotionalwreck_
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:05 pm

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby highlandcow » Fri Mar 30, 2012 8:55 pm

emotionalwreck_ wrote:Thank you! That was really good advice


Aww...thanks! :oops: :D

That's a shame! I don't really understand the mentality behind it, I'd never give up on a good friend because of something like that. Case in point, my best friend had a baby a year ago, and can't get out as much as she used to. Sure I miss the old times we had, and I understand why it can never be the same, but I'd never have given up on a great friendship. True friends should be able to pick up where they left off if there has been a situation where one of them can't be as committed for a while.

I think you should call her, just to keep the lines of communication open, and to let her know that just because you have exams, it doesn't mean you can't be friends. Hopefully she'll come round. And if she doesn't...then maybe she's not really as good a friend as she could be!
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

- Billy Connolly
User avatar
highlandcow
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1008
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:22 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Gender: Female

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby emotionalwreck_ » Sat Mar 31, 2012 12:10 am

highlandcow wrote:
emotionalwreck_ wrote:Thank you! That was really good advice


Aww...thanks! :oops: :D

That's a shame! I don't really understand the mentality behind it, I'd never give up on a good friend because of something like that. Case in point, my best friend had a baby a year ago, and can't get out as much as she used to. Sure I miss the old times we had, and I understand why it can never be the same, but I'd never have given up on a great friendship. True friends should be able to pick up where they left off if there has been a situation where one of them can't be as committed for a while.

I think you should call her, just to keep the lines of communication open, and to let her know that just because you have exams, it doesn't mean you can't be friends. Hopefully she'll come round. And if she doesn't...then maybe she's not really as good a friend as she could be!


Thank you again, your advice has really made me feel better. :) I'm glad that you're understanding of your friend and still maintain a great friendship. I will get in touch with her and see how she responds, hopefully she'll come around.
User avatar
emotionalwreck_
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:05 pm

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby highlandcow » Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:22 am

That's OK! :D Good luck with everything, let us know how you get on.
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

- Billy Connolly
User avatar
highlandcow
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1008
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:22 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Gender: Female

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby emotionalwreck_ » Sat Mar 31, 2012 12:01 pm

highlandcow wrote:That's OK! :D Good luck with everything, let us know how you get on.


I will do. :) But before I talk to her, I'm not sure whether to ask her to arrange to watch a film as well as we've arranged to do one thing in the holidays but I told her I didn't want to watch it as I needed to revise. But then I think I'm being unreasonable as we've only arranged one thing but I don't know how to approach her about it because I'm worried she might have arranged to see it with someone else and I don't want it to look like I've assumed she won't have anyone else to go with if I bring it up. But if I do bring it up, how do I go about it? Do you think I should mention it? And I'm worried that if I start to arrange stuff with her then she might assume I can do more things with her and I'll be in that situation where I will have to decline. Also, I'm having a meal with some other groups of friends but my friend isn't friends with them and I'm worried that if she finds out that I'm going to meal then she might think I'm being hypocritical of myself but I've already promised the host that I would come because she was worried that no one would turn up because a party is on at the same time as well. So I'm contemplating to arrange seeing a film with her to make it up to her about the meal thing, but do you think it's a good idea?
User avatar
emotionalwreck_
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:05 pm

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby emotionalwreck_ » Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:22 pm

I'm talking to my friend now and she seemed ok with me I think lol. I didn't mention making more plans as she seemed fine with me so I thought there was no point to mention it. But I'm still concerned about her finding out about the meal thing because I've arranged to see my friend with another person as well and I know that person will mention that me and her are going to that meal since she likes to talk a lot. If she does mention it, should I try and explain to my friend why I'm going? Because I'm worried she'll think I'm a hypocrite but if I do try and explain myself it'll look like I'm overexplaining myself.
User avatar
emotionalwreck_
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:05 pm

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby highlandcow » Sun Apr 01, 2012 8:05 pm

Hmmm...that's difficult. I would just say to her (if she were to find out) that it had been booked and arranged, for ages before you had all this revision and that you worked out your revision timetable to fit it in specially. There's no reason she'd find out though, if she's not friends with the people you're having dinner with. Just remember to de-tag yourself from any Facebook pictures.

How long is it until the exams? Is it possible to give yourself one night off a week to catch up with her?
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

- Billy Connolly
User avatar
highlandcow
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1008
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:22 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Gender: Female

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby emotionalwreck_ » Mon Apr 02, 2012 12:12 am

Well my exams start next month but we talked again today and we arranged to go shopping on one of the days, so I think it's ok now, as now we've arranged to do two things. And if she does find out about the meal thing, it won't be so bad, but the reasons you made were very good haha, I might use it if I have to. Thank you for your help, I wouldn't have resolved this without you, so thank you, you've been a massive help. :)
User avatar
emotionalwreck_
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:05 pm

Re: Worried about revision and appeasing my friend

Postby highlandcow » Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:08 pm

That's my pleasure, glad I could help, that's what I'm here for after all! :D
Go to Glasgow at least once in your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say:
'It's good to be alive!'"

- Billy Connolly
User avatar
highlandcow
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1008
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2008 9:22 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Gender: Female


Return to School, College & University

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests