Problem with woman at work.

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Problem with woman at work.

Postby BlueMonkey » Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:02 pm

Hi everyone I'm new posting here but I read quite often. I would really appreciate some advice.

A while back a a new staff member started below me at work. We have been having some problems with each other. I just found out from my boss that for the last several months this woman has been going running to her with every tiny thing I do and by the sounds of it exaggerating it a LOT making me look bad. We had a few weeks when my boss was off and I was in charge and now I look back I think she was trying to sabotage me so she can get a promotion. She doesn't do her job properly anyway but she was even worse those few weeks and when it got to the end she had the cheek to say she was glad my boss was back as the work wasn't being done properly. she made up some rubbish about me wanting to leave as well.

So after chatting with the boss we decided I could be a bit more assertive. So I tried. I asked her to do jobs (sometimes serveral times before they got done). At the end of the shift she accuses me of being a moody cow and saying that I got told off and I'm taking it out on her! I said to her that no such thing happened and that I have been told I have to get these things done and that is what i'm making sure happens. I have to work with her and I think I'm going to scream. She doesn't want to do her job properly yet she goes running to the boss if she catches me using the wrong pen. She looks at me like i'm something she's stepped in and grunts when i ask her to do something. I was almost demoted because of all this but my boss said to her boss she wanted to find out what was going on first. Thats when I found out she's trying to manipulate people.

I don't know what to do! Next i'm expecting her to turn on the waterworks the next time she's with my boss saying how i'm a witch and picking on her. I don't want to descend to her level and start telling on her back. I think the reason my bosses believed me over her is because I didn't do any tale telling at all.
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Re: Problem with woman at work.

Postby retrochav » Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:56 pm

Your boss is quite aware of what is going on here. You are also quite aware of what is going on too.

Be smart. Keep a diary of events so that if needed you can challenge dates and times and events. Try to get trusted colleagues to witness her behaviour, so they could confirm what you are saying.

Most of all keep your cool. She clearly hopes you will say or do something unprofessional so she can report you. By all means visualise slapping her round the face, or telling her what a spiteful witch she is, but never ever give her the satisfaction. She is already exposing herself as a trouble maker, so just let her continue sewing her own sack.

If you really want to annoy her, try being sickly sweet and praising her. It will really get up her nose!!!
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.
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Re: Problem with woman at work.

Postby BlueMonkey » Thu May 09, 2013 9:38 am

Firstly thank you for the advice. The woman was fired eventually.

There are a few things that have come to light since then. Firstly the woman was playing games but it turns out the boss has been too. This has ended in me almost loosing my job over the past 7 months and not having a clue about it. My probationary period has been extended worst of all NO-ONE told me this was happening and when I brought up the fact that I hadn't recieved my contract the manager starting acting all shifty saying she knew nothing about it and would talk to the area manager which she keeps fobbing me off telling me she hasn't had time.

Secondly she is taking credit for other peoples work (not just mine). If she does something wrong its never her fault she stood there and watched me take the blame for something she had done.

She goes around telling people that we only do well because of her and how she does all the hard work.

We almost had a big barney last week. Stemming from the fact that I have been asking to book a holiday since january and she just keeps fobbing me off. I have not been well (bad infections i'm so run down). we were a staff member down and I was already working that day so she made a big song and dance about how important her life is she has stuff to do she shouldn't have to come in on her day off. Well it had got to the point a week later where the fatigue and stress is so bad i'm getting dizzy spells. I said i've got to go home i'm sick. All i got was "will you be better by my day off because i don't want to come in". I wasn't better but decided to go in anyway (they are doing tests not a lot i can do but wait) first thing she says. I need you to work on your day off!

I can't take any more of her hypocrisy and lies. I'm so close to getting up and walking out when she's having a paddy. I can't talk to her because she manipulates things so that i'm to blame.

Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do. I can't afford to loose my job but my health isn't great at the moment and the stress is making it worse. I've started having panic attacks again.

I've tried looking for a new job but i would have to take a pay cut and I can't afford it. :(
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Re: Problem with woman at work.

Postby Ticktock » Thu May 09, 2013 5:28 pm

The way to deal with this woman is not to make it personal, she will win if you storm off without a reason.

First, unless you are top of a trigger point, take your sick leave! The number of union members I have represented because they have forced themselves in when they are ill and ended up far worse and facing dismissal... Your company will have a sick policy, just check you are fine and stuff her day off.

Second her weak point is company procedure, if you have a union then get them involved, if not you may have to bring a personal complaint over what is happening with your probation. If you leave it you are very vulnerable to the next problem leading to you being dismissed. After all the extension may have something to do with the former employee you had problems with and we know what an aversion to the truth she had.

Again you are entitled to request a copy of the policy round your probation and see it has been followed, if it has not or she tries to fob you off again write to her immediate superior.

She is stomping all over you at the moment but like most bullies she isn't too careful to follow the rules herself so as long as you concentrate on following the companies own policies you should be protected.
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Re: Problem with woman at work.

Postby BlueMonkey » Thu May 09, 2013 5:45 pm

Thanks for the advice. I will look into the policy on probation. We only get ssp when ill so i cannot afford to take more than a couple of days regardless of how ill i am. Which was why I wanted to take a holiday to stop me getting ill.
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Re: Problem with woman at work.

Postby Ticktock » Thu May 09, 2013 9:09 pm

We only get ssp when ill so i cannot afford to take more than a couple of days regardless of how ill i am


I had someone recently who did exactly the same, edged it out to her holiday, spent all the holiday ill and then came back was off again sick straight afterwards and almost ended up on a formal warning (I got her off...). If you are having dizzy spells then one day at least to give you a long weekend would be the sensible choice, after all you can't guarantee you will even get the leave to go on holiday from your manager...

In these sort of situations people get stressed and start making bad decisions as to looking after themselves, money or health, I know which I think is the better choice.
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Re: Problem with woman at work.

Postby retrochav » Sun May 12, 2013 11:45 pm

Is your firm large enough to have a HR department? If so then raise it with them, although as tic took says the union would be better.

To be honest it would maybe be better to take a lower paid job, you can't earn any money if your health breaks down. Many years ago I left a responsible job, with good pay to become a cleaner. I just couldn't take the miserable atmosphere any longer. I had minimal money, but I had peace of mind. I retrained and now earn more than I ever could have in the old job. So it's sometimes worth taking a career dive to resurface better off in time.
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Re: Problem with woman at work.

Postby BlueMonkey » Mon May 13, 2013 10:13 pm

Well we had a big barney the other day. she came in with a look on her face like she was determind to have a argument. I ended up having to go home. and essentially I won't have a job if we don't make up. (this probably means me apologise). She put on the waterworks and got all the sympathy (the death of a family member almost a year ago). I really am sorry they died but she keeps using it to get her own way. she makes me look like a cold hearted witch. I knew this would happen if I said anything if i fight her i'm going to loose. I wasn't even going to argue with her that day. I even asked her to leave it but she refused to do any work until we'd discussed it.

I don'tw ant to loose my job i enjoy it but if we fight there is no where for me to go she's been there longer.

I found out the reason i've been ill and its a vitamin deficiency

We have no HR dept or union.
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Re: Problem with woman at work.

Postby Bel Bel » Tue May 14, 2013 3:34 pm

Kill her with kindness - as they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer
Be overly nice especially when anyone is about
SO what if you have to apologise to keep your job, after all you don't have to mean it
I am glad they got to the bottom of your illness, you may well find that once you feel back to your old self you don'[t get affected by it as much and have the strength of mind to deal with it better
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Re: Problem with woman at work.

Postby BlueMonkey » Tue May 14, 2013 8:24 pm

Bel Bel wrote:Kill her with kindness - as they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer
Be overly nice especially when anyone is about
SO what if you have to apologise to keep your job, after all you don't have to mean it
I am glad they got to the bottom of your illness, you may well find that once you feel back to your old self you don'[t get affected by it as much and have the strength of mind to deal with it better



Thanks. I have decided to go in and talk to her.

I will apologise but i am not happy about it and I am looking for a new job.
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