Can anyone give their opinion / advice on this hell im in at the moment please?
My daughter is currently completely ignoring any form of contact that I try to gain with her and wont allow me to see my grandchildren and im heartbroken.
It started in September when she and the children visited me and my partner who ive been with for 15 yrs.
We were having words my partner and I (not shouting not swearing becase thats not what we do. And certainly never would in front of anyone). We are in our early 50s with morals and manners.
We have never argued in front of anyone.
The visit they made was on my daughters birthday back in sept when she says I told my partner that I was going to slash his throat with a birthday card!!!!
Me and my partner have told her I did not say that and now shes saying that we are accusing her of making it up!!
So as she says I said that, shes refused to bring the kids here incase we argue! !
We never have nor would and the few words myself snd my partner exchanged that day she is talking about was me saying to him would he put the kettle on an he said would I do it so I moaned at him sayin the kids are here I want to cuddle them
..Thats all that we said....
So from that day weve not been allowed to have the kids here to visit or stay over like they used to..my partner and my daughter get along like a house on fire so its no problem there.
Plus, from that day ive only been allowed to see them at their house one morning or afternoon per week and no more.
Ive been told I must not be late be it 3,4,5 10 minutes under any circumstances.
She lives over the border from me and on a good day takes 20/30 mins....so on what I think might be a busy day I set off earlier.
Ive only seen them 4 times since sept (apart from christmas day and new years day) I wasnt allowed to see them the week up to Christmas as she said id see them at christmas anyway..
so we had agreed a day one week and the night before I wasnt well so told her I was going to try and get a drs apointment the next morning... ( you can only book an app at our surgery the same morning that you need a dr...so one needs a crystal ball to know when we're going to be ill )
So I told my daughter not to worry and id be there in the afternoon
....but she said no because id let her down at the last minute and she wouldnt allow me to go any other day that week.
So I went the following week as planned with no problems and I took us all out for dinner. It was lovely.
One week she wanted me there for 8am to look after one of the kids while she took the other one to an hospital appointment. ..I got there at 7.46am snd she had set off taking both kids....she finally answered my text giving me hell cos she had said 7am not 8am so I was late.. I felt terrible id misheard her as I had an hearing problem at the time
I said id go straight to her at the hospital take one child off her and either bring them to my house or take her to the hospital cafe. My daughter refused saying my driving is atrocious and no child of hers is getting in my car!! This is me who is about to take the institue of advanced driving test based on the police driving handbook, so that I can mentor other drivers!!!
Previously the kids have been to lots of places with me with no complaints.
So my latest visit was last weds morning arranged for 10am..I set off in good time and took the quiet route but, there was some delay. But!! I still pulled up on my daughters drive as the 10am news came on local radio.
She unlocked the door, informed me I was late and if the kids hadnt seen me she wouldnt have let me in and she was about to close the curtains and ignore me when the kids saw me pull up.
I said I wasnt late even though the route I had taken had been unexpectedly busy and how late did she think I was. She said 1 minute !!!! I couldnt believe what I was hearing...
So now im not allowed to see them for 2 weeks..
She is saying that its all my doing
She said back in sept when this started that I had tried to sway her and talk her round into forgetting all about it and getting back to a normal happy family etc and by doing that I had disrespected her decision. I admitted I did do that because I love them all and miss them all thats why..
And now shes done it again because I was what she said was one minute late last week...so yes ive tried to cajoling her into giving in...i even apologised for being late ! ?
She says im disrespecting her again..that I should leave her alone.
I texted her every morning to see if they are ok and every evening telling her I love her and to ring me if she needs me...she never replies..
I want to add that the kids were born three months early and tho one did come home on oxygen is fine now...at that time they wouldnt let me in the house I could only see the babies thru the window..so did everyone else admittedly not just me.
But it hurt like hell.
Im not a dirty person I dont smoke or drink .I keep well apart from a couple of aching bones.so its not because of me having unsavoury habits.
I have mentioned to her and her hubby that they did fantastic with the babies and not to feel bad about not letting anyone in to see them because what ever they did has paid off because the kids are absolutely fine and healthy and that im very proud of them all..my daughter and the babies almost died the day they were born and all this not seeing them now is hurting me so much.
Can anyone offer me any advice?
Sorry its so long
Thankyou xx