he's lost interest in sex

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he's lost interest in sex

Postby heartfullalove » Sat Jul 26, 2014 7:07 pm

Hiya
I've been with my fella for 18 months (we r gay) & it was going beautifully until I moved in with him. He was always really considerate & would take me out for dinner or bring me flowers, take me on weekends away. I love him and he's GORGEOUS, wonderful in bed & I do feel lucky to have him.
A big problem is though that he sems to have lost interest in sex since I moved in, & it's hurting me. OK he works nights and I get that sometimes we're all tired, but I miss the days when we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Not counting the odd snog, it's now been FOUR MONTHS since he properly made love to me. I've tried hinting about it and my gf says I should just jump his bones on a night in, but it's hit a point where I'm startin to think maybe he's just not interested any more. I bought a lot of lovely Ann Summers stuff last week during the heatwave and thought that might work. I don't think he even noticed.
This is starting to drive me mad to be honest. Four months isn't fair, or am I being too demanding? It is hitting a point where I'm starting to notice hot guys on the train & on the street etc, and rather than trying to not think about them, I'm letting myself fantasise. He is on late AGAIN tonight, I have a night out with the girls & I'm seriously considering going for it. I'm wondering how to address this situation before I do something that might jeopardise our relationship, I just want my man to make love to me like he used to.
Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions at all?
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Re: he's lost interest in sex

Postby Tucco » Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:36 pm

Hi there,

the last thing you should do is cheat, the first thing you should do is sit down and talk things through.

If all was well before you moved in and he was coping ok with his work shifts he should be able to cope now. There could be an underlying problem that needs sorting, this can only be done by talking.

I hope all works out ok for you.
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Re: he's lost interest in sex

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jul 28, 2014 8:53 am

The heat, work and moving into together ware likely to be part of the problem.
I agree you need to talk about this.
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Re: he's lost interest in sex

Postby heartfullalove » Mon Jul 28, 2014 5:11 pm

I think, looking back, maybe I was more thrilled about moving in together than maybe he was. I thought it was working really well at first, though. I'm trying to give him space and not be 'suffocating', but his hours are a bit problematic too. He'll stay up half the night looking at stuff online or playing his PlayStation: I've nothing against him enjoying his down-time, but I'd like to think taking advantage of me would be a bit more exciting than bashing buttons on some imaginary fighting game? He's not a great sleeper. I don't think his libido is the problem either, because he's very fit, strong & keeps in great shape. I feel I don't hold as much mystery for him as I did when we met, & it makes me sad.
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Re: he's lost interest in sex

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jul 29, 2014 1:42 pm

You have to stop deciding what you think is the problem and ask
You are trying to diagnose yourself and you could be way off the mark
Please sit down and have a real chat about the whole situation. Tell him you how you feel without blaming anyone for the situation.
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Re: he's lost interest in sex

Postby Akidma » Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:37 pm

good advice from Tucco. Do not stray.
You can only ask him, but perhaps need to make him blatantly aware that there is a relationship problem here, so it is a serious talk. I would not mention that you have even considered straying, albeit fantasy. I would just keep to the point which is your own relationship; that is all that matters here.
I feel sure you will discover he has a problem that you have not even considered.
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