inlaws!

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inlaws!

Postby wireless » Sat Oct 04, 2014 11:53 am

hello there. where do i begin here - ive been with my gf 3 years now & shes 35 & im 54 & bacically im perplexed with her family & wheres im sensible,old fashioned & act my age i find her family just childish & silly all the time & act like 12 year olds & whenever ive visited them ive never been able to have a conversation & i just find them very ignorant & my problem however is that im not into all the things that are goin on today (facebook,tattoos,twitter) & all the other what seems to be in today & i find them so recactionary & just copy & do whatever the latest fad is nowadays. Im very much into the stuff from the 1950s to the 1980s only which makes it quite difficult chatting to pple & bein sociable & i have 1 good friend & we chat like 2 old ladies when he visits but apart from that i just work all the time on the basis of work hard play hard! & the inlaws as i call them also is critical about anything they get to hear about me & my gf & they immediatly slag me off & me bein 54 & her 35 didnt go down well but oh well & our relationship is a very private one & although this dosent bother me at all i just wanted to hear an opinion about this
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Re: inlaws!

Postby peecee » Sat Oct 04, 2014 4:54 pm

Hi, wireless.

Just a bit confused about whether you and your girlfriend are 25 and 44 or 35 and 54?

If you could clarify that, it might make a difference to the advice PPers offer you. :)
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Re: inlaws!

Postby wireless » Sun Oct 05, 2014 12:16 am

Yep 44 & 25 oops - & so once again comments please
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Re: inlaws!

Postby Minna » Fri Dec 05, 2014 3:04 pm

OK your "in-laws" act childishly. You haven't mentioned how your girlfriend acts, either outside the family or when visiting them. Does she almost roll her eyes and even apologise for the way her parents act, or does she join in? It would be unusual, given her assumed upbringing, that she was as "serious" an individual as yourself. It must be said that the age difference (19 years) is quite a lot and her parents are probably of a similar age to yourself - but OK you know that. You might even have to admit to yourself that she does act as childishly as her parents. However, the difference is that you forgive HER and even think its cute, because you love her and feel that you are lucky to have a younger woman on your arm. But you don't forgive her parents because they don't mean as much, or anything, to you.

If she IS childish and you think her childishness is cute, but childishness is something that you hate, bear in mind that you will find her personality grating on your nerves after a while. A lot to put up with, no matter how much you love her.

Or, hopefully, she has a similar personality and view of the world as you have.

You are not going to change your "in-laws". So, in my view there are two options. Either (a) put up with your "in-laws" and ignore their silly ways - accepting that they have every right to act as they please AS LONG AS this does not hurt you or anyone else. OR (b) you accept that this silliness is such a big issue for you that you must break up with your girlfriend before you go crazy.

I don't think there is any other way forward with this problem. :(

Good luck.
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