New work colleague coming on strong

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New work colleague coming on strong

Postby musekitty » Mon Oct 27, 2014 11:29 pm

So I recently started working in a new job, I have only had three shifts so far. In one of the shifts I was working with a guy who didn't talk much compared to everyone else, he barely said two words to me but when I got home I noticed he had added me on facebook. I didn't want to be rude and thought if I was going to be working with him anyway then I might as well accept. He then started messaging me on it, just things like 'So tell me about yourself' I thought it was a bit weird so I just kept the convo to a minimum and about work. Then he asked for my phone number (I know I shouldn't have gave him it but i'm terrible with saying no if its going to create an awkward situation and didn't want things to be awkward at work) so I gave him it, then he text me asking to get to know me (all of this has happened within two days). I mentioned him to another work colleague and he said he is a creep, he has been accused of rape when he was younger and apparently got in trouble for having sex with a 13 year old when he was 16. He is 20 now and has a girlfriend. This news disturbed me so I tried to ignore his messages but he wouldn't stop so i tried to be polite and told him I have a boyfriend, he said he understood but if things were to grow between us then he wouldn't say no to me. He seems to be deluded which is worrying, I kept making it clear to him. He said we could just be friends and I said thats fine. He then went on to ask if I drove and I do, when he found out I could drive he said he will be definitely stealing a lift home from me after work tomorrow. Now this is when I got scared. I know what people have said about him most likely isn't true because I doubt he would have this job if it was, but at the same time I'm worried about tomorrow because I really don't want him in a car alone with me after 11pm at night when no one is around. I have just met this person and will have to work with him a lot, what should I do? How can deal with this in a way that wont cause bad feeling in my new job. It's been stressful enough changing my place of work without already having an issue with a colleague when all I want is to get along with everyone.
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Re: New work colleague coming on strong

Postby snail » Tue Oct 28, 2014 8:30 am

I think you're right to be worried about him, based on his behaviour. He would probably just try it on with you rather than do anything violent but he is certainly not behaving normally and that's a worry. Your physical safety is more important than anything else, including your job or anyone else's feelings. You have to say no to a lift. If you can't get help from a colleague or manager, I suggest you say that your boyfriend is a highly jealous unreasonable type and would hit the roof if you had another man in your car. You must stick to your guns.
How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

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Re: New work colleague coming on strong

Postby musekitty » Mon Nov 03, 2014 1:42 am

Thank you. Yeah, I have just been ignoring him on Facebook which I should have done in the beginning. He is so strange because in work he acted very normal like he was completely different person from the one messaging me. He didn't seem awkward or phased at all. He never brought up the lift and I basically cannon balled into my car and left quickly. Hopefully this is the end of it.
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