Such an awful mess...

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Just Landed
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Such an awful mess...

Post by meros » Sun Dec 14, 2014 9:48 pm

I never dreamt I would ever be in this position & just need some help/advice/support. I've been married 46 years & happy for most but we've had a topsy-turvy relationship in the last few years because of his selfishness, uncaring manner & the awful occasions when he has tried to "put me down". I have tolerated this in the hope a miracle might happen & he changed & altered his ways. I loved him. I have had a mountain of health problems in the last few years & have two disabilities.

I realised earlier this year this he would never change & didn't even want to try to so I made the big decision to move out. I am still living in our marital home but hope very soon my solicitor will be in a position to give me a completion date.

Over the last few weeks I have suffered terribly with domestic & mental abuse from him & he tried to hit me a few days ago. I have actually sought police help & have an incident case number should he try to hurt me again.

We live in a very close-knit environment (too close!) where "gossip" travels quickly. My husband has in the last couple of weeks told a lot of people we are separating. I have been stopped several times by people to say they were sorry to hear I would be moving. I said I couldn't tolerate his meanness & devious ways any longer & had made the decision to go. When he heard I had said this, he went mad & kept coming close up to my face shouting at me which really frightened me as he's quite a strong man.

Yesterday, he took this one step further. We have a car & I depend on that due to my disabilities. When I looked for the car key yesterday & couldn't find it I asked him where it was. He announced "you can't drive...I rang the insurance company earlier & had your name removed from the policy". I was a named driver on that & always been done this way through the years. We live in a rural environment & it is very difficult without a car.

Then yesterday he announced he had a picture of me that he took shortly after we got married which is, by all accounts, sexual. I haven't seen this picture & cannot remember it even being taken but it was 46 years ago! He announced that unless I keep my mouth shut & don't tell anyone how he has treated me he will get copies of this photo & distribute it to people I know! Yes, I do believe he is disturbed.

I am due to receive an phone call from a lady who deals with Domestic Abuse & yes, I will mention this to her that basically he is bribing me to keep quiet. I am naturally frightened in this awful situation. If the police are told about this photo, can they enforce him to give it to me. He tells me it is in a sealed envelope & being looked after by someone he knows.

I am so confused & unhappy & without the support of some good friends I would have found the last few weeks hard to get through.

Thank you for reading xx

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Bel Bel
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Re: Such an awful mess...

Post by Bel Bel » Mon Dec 15, 2014 12:31 pm

It is an offence to blackmail someone and also by distributing the photo he will be proving what a complete pig he is.
I doubt he even has a photo. Especially if you don't even remember it.
Is the car in your name~? If yes you can have him removed from the insurance and also have him arrested for stealing your car.
If it's his then you need to go about sorting yourself some transport so you don't need his.
Keep talking to the domestic abuse lady and find out if you can have him removed from the home now on the basis of your safety.
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