Age gap issues...hasnt worked in past why would it now!

[Storm1979]

Hello i could really do with some help, im 36 & recently met a girl through (she is a member), we got talking & she had recently split up with her ex. She is 21 & has had a lot of issues in her life, but we got on & started to spend time together. She works full time in a male environment & as such gets a lot of male attention, she admits to liking older guys & was spending a lot of time getting drunk with them & having casual relations with one particular guy who she admits hadnt been treating her particularly well...usual thing that players do, say what they need to say in order to get what they want then leave the girl heartbroken.

We spent time together & a relationship developed, nothing serious just spending time together, but then just this last weekend when she was out something happened (i dont know what as she has clamed up) & she has gone from wanting to date me & not being worried about age gaps...to suddenly saying it doesnt work, she always gets hurt, it cant work & that she is now seeing someone....

Only bits i can get out of her is that something happened with this other guy she works with & she has ended up hurt...but she wont say what other than its changed her outlook on age gaps as she cant cope with it.

Meanwhile im left gutted because we are still friends, she admits she has. feelings for me but the age gap wont work...i dont get it, how can it change so quickly? why? & what can i do to show her im not like the others & im
not going to hurt her? in a short space of 3 months we have been through an awful lot together & now it feels loe im
being punished because of someones bad actions....

We are still speaking but not about the relationship & she does say she doesnt want to lose me.....


Help help help!

[Bel Bel]

She should be messing with you or genuinely something happened that she can't or isn't willing to tell you about
Stop looking for happiness in this girl. She obviously has some issues and ultimately I think you will end up more hurt
She is still growing up and finding out how she is so let her do that and steer clear or you will become a victim of her learning curve

[Mrconfused74]

Bel Bel is right, this girl is still very young, maybe she has been messed around, if she fell for this guy, it's possible anytime he salas she'll drop everything for him, that includes you if you were in a relationship. Don't wait for her, if you want yo be her friend then be just that, but I'm guessing you'll always be wanting more,she may well be using the age gap as an excuse, either way I think you should be looking somewhere else. If it's a long term relationship your looking for, then your better off with someone closer your age.

[David020549]

I can understand why a 21 yr old is attractive to you and vice versa but it is a maturity mismatch, there are girls of that age that know what they want and are ready to settle down but she is not one of them. While you have her on your mind you won't move on and find a woman that matches your own aims and goals, so forget her there are plenty of others.

[Storm1979]

Ordinarily i dont go for younger & at the time we first got chatting i didnt realise she was 21....knew she be in her 20's but not 21. Age to me isnt a barrier in this sense, but i take onboard what everyone has said xx

[BlueRock]

I have been the younger man in such a relationship and I never had a problem or even thought about it. She dwelt on it far more than me. Johnny Rotten (lydon) of sex pistols fame has been with the same woman 17 years his senior for decades. So yes it can work find. Just enjoy it. As far as mind of body goes I've know women my own age with far more stuck in there ways minds and worse bodies if you really want to break it down to the basics.