Am I wrong to want more from this relationship already?

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Re: Am I wrong to want more from this relationship already?

Postby ceit27 » Mon Nov 09, 2015 8:02 pm

He hasn't introduced anyone else. I'm the first serious gf since he split from his ex 2 years ago. What to you mean try facebook? And testing?
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Re: Am I wrong to want more from this relationship already?

Postby elvistal7 » Mon Dec 07, 2015 6:19 pm

In short, no you are not wrong. We all could do with trusting our minds and bodies a little bit more. One of the main, if the not the main problem with the way we view relationships today is that we keep getting told, and we always believe this to be true, that everyone has good and bad points and we must focus on the good, be half full, ...etc. We believe this, or we want to believe this for two reasons, 1. no one wants to be lonely, and 2. we all lack in self worth. Not as in we all think we are worthless, no, what I mean is that we all think that it is over indulgent to want to be happier. However, and being a parent you will know what I'm talking about, the kindest thing that you can do to a child is to give that child a home lived in by two adults that are playful, happy, loving, laughing, brutally honest, devourers of life; not two people withholding their feelings and tiptoeing around each other pretending to be mature, respectful and responsible adults. These behaviours are good in the workplace, never at home. Our children need to learn how to keep their inner child alive forever. I know that both of you have children from a previous relationship. This should be all you need to know for you to decide to be a little less compromising this time round.

Most of us start with hope, and this hope allows us to trivialise the negative and focus on the positive. What we are missing though is that any two human beings can admire each other's positives. Good qualities such as kindness, charm, generosity, dependability, being sensible, being loving of children, ...etc are something the overwhelming majority of us have in common. Any two can like such qualities in each other. However, the qualities that are of vital importance are the ones that are perceived to be negative. Like anger, ability to speak the mind, being silly, impatience, level of political incorrectness, sexual expression in thought and in action. How irritating or how admirable you find these qualities in the other to be is far more important to determine long term happiness and pleasure than the other so called strengths. In other words, it is far more important to make each other laugh, than to be on time.

So this is what you need to do: Every single time you feel something is wrong, you express it immediately and see what happens. If this leads to you feeling loved, feeling that your partner, once again, made you feel so thrilled that you are who you are, if your feeling of certainty of love increases that little bit more, then what you have is a loving relationship. If however you have inner doubt, then do not accept it. Get to the bottom of it. Tell your partner that you still don't feel 100% happy. Never fake it, never hide how you truly feel. You have to do this if not for yourself, then do it for your children who deserve a relaxed and loved and secure mother that can in turn teach them the value of feeling truly loved, truly secure, truly happy for being able to express all your feelings to your partner and such honest expression always leads to greater certainty of love. This is not a fantasy, this is the only way to be if we want to change the percentage of family breakdowns from 60% down to something far lower. Our children deserve better.
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