Tarantula wrote:I feel we are missing the elephant in the room here.
WHY ARE YOU PAYING FOR EVERYTHING?! This ain't the 50's, why she don't move her butt and pay her share? Why is she so entitled, she just EXPECTS you to pay HER way?
That's not on.
What also really hit me was the part where you said 'wanted a break so I could think about things. Which I did, I had so much to think about, what would she do, how would she cope financially, her dads not very supportive, her mams under her dads thumb, did I still love her...'
Apart from the last part, ALL of that is all about HER, not YOU, your feelings, your needs, your desires.... she's got you catering to her completely - why is this? All of your concerns for her... they are HER responsibility, NOT yours! She's an adult! Is this one of those relationships that more resemble a parent/child dynamic rather than equal partners putting in a mutual amount of effort into the relationship?
She needs to get off her high horse and, if you are going to financially provide for her which is a BIG thing, she should definitely be appreciating that in a big way, by being loving/affectionate towards you, and otherwise putting something in to the relationship. Sounds like she's just taking you for granted really.
Marriage doesn't sound like a good idea at this point. You need to re evaluate things. What's good about this person? How compatible are you - from a logical perspective? Are you in this for the right reasons or was the initial hook largely physical and then it just kind of carried on because you both felt like being in a relationship of some description? You haven't painted a great picture of your partner/relationship, so I wonder if you've given us a one-sided account or if it really IS as black and white as that.
It is indeed often a girl's dream to have the ultimate wedding/honeymoon/happy ending. Somewhere along the line, however, we grow up and expand our ideas about how a mature, mutual relationship should be, and it is no longer limited to prescriptive Disney logic revolving around an outdated religious institution which in the end is nothing more than a symbol that guarantees nothing (although it's nice if it works out).
HelpDave wrote:Thank you for your messages, I'll try to expand maybe help with some of your questions.
We have lived together for a long time, about 12 years... We have been engaged for about 8 years. I am employed and have a fairly decent job if OT is there to be worked I will work whatever I can.
Return to Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests