Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

For problems with girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, wives, lovers and leavers!
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby fredbloggs123 » Wed Jan 20, 2016 4:17 pm

Thanks for the replies. I have taken them into consideration.

In the time when we last spoke... she called again RE: a job.
This was legitimate and I thanked her for getting me the opportunity for interview but I'd never mentioned I was looking in the first place.

Before I attended the interview, a couple of weeks before, she told me she might want to apply at the same place soon too.

Two days before the interview, she proceeds to tell me that she's already working there... and has been for a week!

Her texts/mails to me were practically begging me to get this job and that she'd got the feelers out to everyone who was anyone at this workplace so that I'd have a good chance of getting it. She was feeling happy that we could be working together etc... that was obvious.

To me... I'm finding it hard to break the chain... like smoking... she can be awesome when she communicates with me but I don't know if I'd be dodging a bullet if I didn't get the job (it was yesterday) and thus not see her at work.

I don't boost her ego in between 'cos we don't communicate so where's this admiration and wanting from her come from...? I Mean, its been 3 years since we last worked together and 9 months since I physically saw her... yet she feels this much for me.... that she'd schmooze senior management inorder to give me a leg up.

I still don't understand why she doesn't communicate with me yet want me to be close to her at work. In fact... someone did mentioned her reasons earlier but I want to ask... what's going to happen? Is this going to continue.... her basically not talking to me unless there's a job (fact or fiction) on offer?
fredbloggs123
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:54 am
Gender: Male

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby Mrconfused74 » Wed Jan 20, 2016 6:11 pm

I must admit it seems very strange, it could well be that she misses you as her ' work husband' and wants that back! I've never been able to work out why women act in certain ways! For instance I was close to a woman who was also in a relationship, and it seemed as if something could happen. But I backed off and it now seems as she had another guy to get attention from, whether it's because I didn't make a move or because she just lost interest. We still talk occasionally but I've not been to hers for ages. But she did say something that's played on my mind. She was talking about this other guy, and how he was putting kisses at the end of texts, and said its ok to be bad sometimes implying she would take it further even though she's attached. Now was she saying that as a friend or a hint? I don't know. The only real way to know is to ask, why does she only contact you when there's a job? Did you get the job? If you've been offered ask to meet her to talk about it, and see how she reacts. It does seem as if she's unhappy in some aspect of her life, and perhaps hasn't found that connection she had with you with anyone else.
Mrconfused74
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 257
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:24 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby fredbloggs123 » Wed Jan 20, 2016 7:05 pm

Thanks Mrconfused74

TBH... I said to the HR dept that I didn't want to take the application any further so as far as she knows, I just didn't get the job.

Who is to say that if I did get that job, that her OH wouldn't take offence to that? I just don't see how she can really go out of her way... after only being in a job for 5 days... to try and get me there too. I feel offended that we don't talk/txt fb... but then she's married and I have feelings for her... its that simple.
I've never been nasty enough to do NC with someone as I/we should be able to talk as adults.
However, perhaps the truth might be worse to know.
fredbloggs123
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:54 am
Gender: Male

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby Mrconfused74 » Wed Jan 20, 2016 7:53 pm

It's hard when you have feelings for someone and they either don't feel the same or aren't in a position to do anything about it. I didn't think I could just walk away, and although I still occasionally talk to her I've resisted the urge to suggest coffee, but as I said before she still makes the odd remark, so whether it's because this woman is in too you and is using your attention to get an ego boost or is looking for someone to give her what she's missing at home, ( like someone to listen to her problems and talk to her, flirt and flatter her) then is able to go home and not be stressed because her partner does none of those things, you are just filling a hole! Believe me it's taken a while for me to realise this, and although I'm not in a place is yet feel comfortable I'm sure I'll get there. If you can't just ignore her you need to get her to be honest with you, I think you deserve that. What have you really got to lose? So she stops texting but then you'll know how she really feels and can move on.
Mrconfused74
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 257
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:24 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby fredbloggs123 » Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:43 pm

Why didn't she tell me that she already works there?

Weird... she said 'I miss talking to you' when I physically saw her after my interview.

So... why not just pick up the phone... and call me whenever then... if it bothers her so much?

Part of me gets annoyed as I don't initiate at all and find myself 100% fine but just as I think she's out of my head... along will come something.

Then... well I get hooked in again.

I'll hate to go down the blocking route as it seems drastic but it seems there's no other option.
fredbloggs123
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:54 am
Gender: Male

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby Mrconfused74 » Mon Jan 25, 2016 8:13 pm

I know exactly what you mean about getting hooked again, been there and still am.

As for blocking her, it may be the only option if you don't want to have a conversation with her and tell her how you feel.

I couldn't so have resorted to just avoiding being in a situation where a conversation might happen, not always easy, especially when you have feelings for them, it's not a overnight fix, unless you can block her number, but I get the feeling you want to tell her how you feel?
Mrconfused74
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 257
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:24 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby fredbloggs123 » Sun Feb 07, 2016 6:12 pm

What happened next?
You wouldn't believe... but I'll tell you.

I didn't get the job... made some angry excuses as to why and thought that'd be it.... wouldn't hear from her again.

Three days later... she calls and then txts at 7 am... yup... 7 am saying that they made a mistake and that she'd told them that I was awesome... that they should rethink their opinion of me.

I smelt bullsh1t again but... a few hours later... the main interviewer honcho calls me to basically say we'd made a mistake etc...

I'm gobsmacked...

I don't know what to say.
fredbloggs123
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:54 am
Gender: Male

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby Mrconfused74 » Sun Feb 07, 2016 9:10 pm

Does seem strange, but I think being in a similar situation the only reason it is bothering you because you have strong feelings for this woman, and I believe if open to an affair you would accept it! What u need to decide is are you happy to be that person, or do you jut ask her outright what her intentions are?
Mrconfused74
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 257
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:24 pm
Gender: Male

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby popeye541 » Wed Feb 17, 2016 11:43 am

I think she wants to work with you so she can reignite her feelings for you, people have affairs at work. If you don't want this. Be very aware.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
popeye541
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2016 11:36 am

Re: Curious behaviour of female friend... or is it me?

Postby levelheadedlady » Wed Feb 17, 2016 7:09 pm

Fred,the lady is jumping through hoops to get you to join her company and you haven't actually asked her why. Why is she trying to manipulate you/the employer?? I would find the whole thing extremely embarrassing/worrying and instinctively want to steer clear. As MrConfused says - ask yourself if you want to get yourself into an affair, or ask her what her intentions are. I am surprised that you haven't already done so.
levelheadedlady
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 5:48 pm
Gender: Female

Previous

Return to Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

cron