[please delete]

For problems with girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, wives, lovers and leavers!
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Re: New guy problems

Postby Minna » Wed Feb 10, 2016 2:58 pm

Hi Tarantula. SO PLEASED that things have smoothed out for you both - what great news!

You are a lucky girl to have found such a caring, lovely man (and I'm sure he would say that he is a lucky guy to have found someone as gorgeous and caring as you!).

Good luck as you grow old together!! xx
Minna
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Sep 25, 2014 4:40 pm
Gender: Female

Postby Tarantula » Wed Feb 17, 2016 7:06 am

-
Last edited by Tarantula on Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Tarantula
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 900
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2007 7:37 pm

Re: New guy problems

Postby Mrconfused74 » Wed Feb 17, 2016 11:38 am

Firstly he had history with these people, he was after all married and part of the family, and those sorts of things are hard to break. Just because he's divorced doesn't mean he has to lose all contact with people he's known a long time. If it had been a gf I'd understand, I think you over reacted, and think under the circumstances you should apologise and say you realise you can't just walk away after that long. It's difficult when you fall for someone that's been married they can have a lot more history than other people, but what you should be thinking is that he's with me now, and it's time for us to build history of our own.
Mrconfused74
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 257
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:24 pm
Gender: Male

Postby Tarantula » Wed Feb 17, 2016 5:42 pm

-
Last edited by Tarantula on Mon Dec 05, 2016 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Tarantula
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 900
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2007 7:37 pm

Re: New guy problems

Postby Mrconfused74 » Wed Feb 17, 2016 5:59 pm

Everyone has history, there is no getting away from it, granted his is fresher but you knew that when you got with him, so you were aware that the break hadn't been made completely. So you need to accept that at least for a while he will have ties to his wife and family. hard as it is you need to think before something that is winding you up or getting you angry otherwise you risk driving them away, I know it's not easy but it's possible, you need to just notice the signs that make you not trust him and try to combat them before it gets too far .
Mrconfused74
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 257
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2015 11:24 pm
Gender: Male

Re: New guy problems

Postby levelheadedlady » Thu Feb 18, 2016 9:53 am

Tarantula I can see you are an all or nothing kind of person. Much the same as me, very similar to how I felt in my younger days when I first met my husband of now almost 30 years. We are so different. Chalk and cheese. I just didn't get this relaxed and reasonable guy.

Your guy clearly wants to handle this in his own way. Step back and let him. It's no threat to you, he is with you because he wants to be. You know, every time you blow up about this he may see it as a strop or interference. He may decide that next time he needs to meet, or sort out a practical issue with his ex or ex's family, he will keep it from you, and I'm sure you would rather know about that. (Happened to me so am speaking from experience!)

The fact that he is now flaring back at you clearly shows that he needs to be able to deal with these matters in his own way. Fair enough, it's his past life and only he can decide how to deal with that. He can mentally close the door on it in the way that suits him and the way he likes to handle things. We all do things differently to the next person. There is no wrong or right way, just each individual's way. Appreciate his approach, which so far sounds sensible to me. Trust him to get it right and close the matter in the way that suits him best, leaving him free to enjoy the rest of his life with you.
levelheadedlady
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2016 5:48 pm
Gender: Female

Previous

Return to Girlfriends & Boyfriends - Husbands & Wives

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests