Young and in love?

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Young and in love?

Postby NeverBeenSingle » Wed Nov 16, 2016 12:22 pm

I'm new here, I've been searching everywhere for advice! I'm 23 years old and recently left my boyfriend/fiance of 8 years. I wasn't happy in my relationship, I fell out of love with him and felt like my life wasn't going anywhere. I lost all feelings, not just with him but towards everything and everyone. He made me numb. Before I left him I started speaking to someone else who I used to really like when I was 15, we lost contact and started chatting again in august as I said above. I went to meet this new man while I was still in a relationship, nothing romantic and no intentions. I turned up and we spoke for a couple of hours. I got this overwhelming feeling and felt like he was always the one for me. I didn't know what to do at this point, do I stay with this man who I don't love anymore or do I carry on living my life with no expectations? A week or so after I went and met the 'new guy' I left my ex. It's what I wanted to do for a long time but I felt this was the push I needed. Since I left him I saw the 'new guy' every single day and completely fell for him. It's now 3 months down the line now and we are living together and have spoke about children and marriage. Is this crazy or is this fate? Was we meant to meet again? I feel like this is what was meant to happen all along! Now I just have one problem. My new boyfriend has had a lot of girlfriends, always been in and out of relationships. A couple of days before we met up he broke off with a girl he was seeing. He still is in contact with her, should I be worried? I secretly feel I might just be another girl! We have moved really quickly, we told each other we were in love with each other only a few weeks in. Is this normal? I'm freaking because I jumped out of an 8 year relationship straight into this. To whoever reads this, thank you! I hope someone can settle my mind a little.
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Re: Young and in love?

Postby Tarantula » Thu Nov 17, 2016 12:33 pm

I think you need to slow down. WAY down.

Are you afraid of being single? Why?

It sounds like you've basically rebounded onto this new guy - of COURSE, after a long time of being bored in a relationship, any new guy would've looked like the best thing in the world.

Living together after three months is very risky considering you had no time whatsoever to breathe and adjust to being single again. It seems that he is rebounding too. You're very much in the honeymoon phase now, and things are gonna change - your relationship is gonna be tested. In fact, I think it already IS being tested, or you wouldn't have written on here.

Are you just another girl? Well.... probably. Men aren't stupid. He knows you were willing to jump straight in with him at a second's notice; that suggests low value. It suggests you were desperate for a way out.

You've have no time in your youth so far to experience life single, to focus on friendships, your career, your hopes and dreams; don't settle for just being known as this-gut-or-that-guy's girlfriend. Be your own person for a while. Date if you feel like it, but nothing serious. These years won't come back once they're gone.

Small caveat: If he was truly wonderful to you, if he treated you exceptionally well and you felt true chemistry with him, truly supported, inspired even, to work more on other departments of your life... if this relationship wasn't compromising any part of your life but only enhanced it... then I would say different. But the fact that you've written tells me this is not the exception. We all want to think we're the exception, don't we? Three months in and you've already got concerns about another girl/an ex? Yeah, this isn't gonna go well.

I think to be honest, you're infatuated with the idea of a shiny new person. Fate isn't real. Proceed cautiously and make sensible life decisions - you ain't 15 no more.
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Re: Young and in love?

Postby Celebritydiscodave » Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:28 am

I really do n`t blame you for getting out of that so called relationship. He was incapable of offering you any genuine empathy, was n`t he? Lots of guys have lots of relationships before finding the right one. He may well be genuine. Speak to him of your concern, this is imperative, and ask him why previous relationships failed. At the same time ask him to put you in touch with his last girlfriend. You are attempting a lasting relationship with him, it concerns your well being, your head is on the bloke, and he owes you total satisfaction in this area. Less than this and you can be assured that his affections for you are not strictly genuine. To be strictly genuine he must know when to be selfless. Stick with me, I can help!
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