by Celebritydiscodave » Sun Nov 27, 2016 9:22 am
Sterdelight, It`s only ever about you, so either you are incapable of unconditional love, love which is in the most part outside of and beyond just ones ego, or you cannot feel it for your husband. It is only when something happens that ones love is being tested. There may be reasons stemming from your past as to why you cannot love, or otherwise,cannot show any indication of love. Do you consider that your parents loved you with genuine and unconditional love. Do you even consider that you were loved? Idolize that person which you would most wish to be, and focus there constantly. It even helps if you put your dream self down on paper, constantly revising, straight prose, or verse, perhaps straight prose, and later verse. We only have one life, so we only have one chance to demonstrate that we can love. I am simply responding to your introduction. If the violence bit has not been somehow over played why was it not included back then, and how could it possibly not have been? Is it that you are still only concerned for your ego, even now? I do understand that you may be feeling very trapped at the moment. Create for yourself a social life beyond your immediate environment. If your husband loves you he wont wish you to feel trapped. I`m not suggesting that you should spend any less time with him however.
The above assuming that this sudden change in your husbands circumstances was everything. However, whilst we should feel obliged to try and show love, we are actually, other than by way our original best guess, no more likely to love our spouse than anybody else. There is absolutely no need to feel guilty should it be that you have gradually grown apart, and with it your love, and equally, if your love for him has been gradually worn away through selfish acts on his part. Whilst it is a virtue to be selfless, selflessness cannot survive for long in a vacuum, for something of the same order must be returned. Could be that you had already stopped loving him, and then this, such, there remains nothing left in your tank with which to deal with his change of circumstance now. If this is true than you must be making this very clear to those around you should it be that you want out. Unfortunately, it is quite possible that some shall make a negative judgement of you.