Should I just let it go?

[James009]

I recently found out that my Wife has paid for some Botox treatment and has not told me about it. She's only 36 years old and looks amazing for a busy mother of 2 young children. I understand why she's done it, as she's not been happy about slight crow's feet by her eyes - although I don't think she needed it at all, she's beautiful as she is.

The point is, we don't have spare money. My Wife is always moaning about not having enough money and I've recently had to pay her tax bill for her. I work my socks off and any money I have, I spend on her and the children.

It's not a huge amount of money, but it's eating me up that she's gone behind my back, not been honest and not even asked me about how I felt about her having treatment.

Should I confront her or should I just let things go? (I found out from a receipt she left in her bag, which I spotted when she asked me to look for something for her!).

[Country Joe]

Hi James I think you should talk to your wife as the resentment for her spending has brought you here to ask the question! Trouble is unless you say something it'll carry on eating away at you.
How to initiate the conversation might not be so easy and keeping calm is essential if you can! Perhaps start by complimenting her on her eyes, her reaction will probably prompt the conversation!
Good luck with it and keep it in perspective!

[Tarantula]

Definitely communicate. It's not cool for her to go out and spend on botox when you're having to pay her bill. Why is she so insecure about her looks?

[David020549]

Most women are insecure about their looks, it is if they really don't care what they look like that there is a problem. The fashion and cosmetics industries make mega bucks out of women's image insecurity, the cosmetic surgery industry is a small part of the same good looks obsession.
Wives usually complain they are short of money and we all work or socks off, but don't make a big issue out of spending a few hundred on Botox, as long as you are generally happy that you both have a fair share of cash. Its probably a good idea to have a general chat about vspending and draw up a budget, then you can each see where the money is going and adjust your spending to match. Don't forget you BOTH have to account for unplanned spending.

[thething]

James, i'm 30 odd and have the same issue....kinda. i moved back into (my owned) family home about 18 months ago, to an absolute mess, 2'500 in taxes and bills galore, i instantly paid off the big bills and was hoping for the rest to work themselves out, now 18 months later i feel im in a worse situation than i was before when i was paying child maintainance and living alone. I'm gonna say if you can manage a single bank account and some savvy. what i do is always say im broke. dont give handouts when possible. and when it comes to summer i can feel good im taking my family on holiday for a week. thats it. i constantly tell my other half im broke and save the cash when i can. dont get me wrong, i spend on weekly things, we dont go without but...if my other half wanted botox she would need to save the pennies (after the bills were paid) like i do.