My brothers are really doing my head in

[LoVe BuG]

My older brother who is 17 is always being horrible to me when his mates are here and its really annoying like earlier he kept throwing things at me. If he cant annoy me he goes and starts winding my little brother up (5 yr old) and then they start arguing and screaming at each other.

I cant take it any more i find it hard to do my coursework and any other work the only time i get free where i can feel good and happy is when ive gone to play football with the lads they never treat me different. All my school work etc. is suffering just because my brother likes to show off.
Please tell me what i can do

**********Love Trudi**********

[cheese100]

hi try to ignore him because the reason he does this is to see your reaction to what he's doing so if you dont do it he will stop.cheese xx

[saz]

Hi Love Bug.

Unfortunately you are describing a pretty typical brother and sister relationship. Some people do get on really when with their siblings when they are growing up but the majority don't. Your brother is nearly an adult and should know better than to keep winding you up, but some boys of this age find things like this funny. The more you show him it is upsetting you, the more he is likely to do it to show off in front of his mates.

It is also unfair of him to start argueing with your 5 year old brother. As i have said this sort of behaviour is common and normal in some circumstances, but a 17 year old shouldn't be fighting with a 5 year old - as in physically. It may upset your little brother and make him feel the same way you do.

The people who should be supporting and helping you and your little brother are your parents. It must be obvious to them that your older brother is behaving in this way and it is making you two unhappy. Tell them how you feel and that it is affecting your school work. Your older brother needs to learn to respect others including his brothers and sister. Your parents job is to guide their children, lay down boundaries and discipline when needed. Try and talk to them about this.

[LoVe BuG]

My mum and dad have split up and ever since my older brother doesnt listen to anyone. No the fighting with my little brother isnt physical he just calls him stuff and pretends to beat him up and then he accidentally hurts him then my little brother comes in crying to me and i cant cope i really cant.

Well my little brother isnt our real brother hes our nephew and his mum basically left him so he lives with us he has done all his life and weve always been classed as his big brothers and sisters

Confusing family

[saz]

I would encourage you to talk to your parents, (mother or father) about the situation. They might be able to come up with a solution or support. It is worth a try.

I am sorry to hear about your parents splitting up. Everyone deals with it in different ways and it sounds as though your brother isn't dealing with it very well. He may feel jealous of your little brother as he may now get the most attention. It is sad to hear about your little nephew and it is so nice to hear that you have taken him into your family as a brother. I think you will be close in years to come.

Bear in mind that at some point he is going to leave home. Siblings get closer as you get older, i am so close to my sister now we dont live together and have grown up a bit. I know this doesn't help your problems now but it wont always be this way.

As for your homework, you could go to the library after school for some peace and quiet. Or make arrangements to go to a relative or friends house every now and then so you can study.

I hope some of my advice has been useful to you.