Should I make the first move.....again? (help!)

Maybe you have fallen out with your mate, or perhaps you are about to betray them - whatever it is, talk about it here.
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Just Landed
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Should I make the first move.....again? (help!)

Post by PunkYouGurl » Sun Dec 07, 2003 4:47 pm

I've been with my b/f for 15 months now, and in that period of time me and best friend didn't talk so much.
Resently we had arguement and alot of the past was brought up, which i tried to explain had hurt me, but she said i talk to her like rubbish, when she did. She only said that cause i snapped at her when she ordered me to come to party, when she didn't come to mine and then made up 3 excuses, instead of saying she wasn't allowed. She then told my other friend where we were, all meeting for my party she told him to wrong time and everything indicating that she didn't want him to go. But i do apreciate she could have got it wrong. So i snapped when she said "you'd better come to my party", and i said "why should i, you didn't come to mine".
Anyway, we had a huge argument and she ended up in tears and went, but theres so much bad feeling and resentment between us i dunno whether we can be friends anymore, within our group of friends we're not talking and i suppose the story is getting twisted a little, and i also feel im not getting enough support from everyone either ;(
Everyone probably thinks im a cow for not making up with her....but theres more to the story....

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Post by cheese100 » Sun Dec 07, 2003 7:59 pm

hi,this friend may have just made a mistake and so should not be punished however it could have been delibrate.In your position you have to give the benefit of the doubt and say it was a mistake and be careful in future because you dont know what happened really.So you should say sorry first otherwise it will keep going however dont take the blame completely because it wasnt intirely your fault that the arguement happened.I think you should spend more time with your friend otherwise you will contiue to have problems.cheese xx

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Post by chris_adelaide » Mon Dec 08, 2003 2:43 pm

Hey Rach (she's my friend, dont worry!)

U know im here for you, as ive told you so many times, because im going through the exact same trouble with the said "friend" right now. She has always been like that so i dont really think apologising first is the best answer because a) it makes it seem like you are the one to blame when you are not, as you never did anything wrong b) she has always done this (dont forget when me and you began to bond almost 2 years ago, between jo and sarah-lou etc etc) and it will continue to carry on if we give into her. She always thinks that she is so righteous and i hate that and i also do not understand why everyone else can slag her off, and then give into her evry whim five minutes later. I support you throughout this and i am there for you, because i know that you are for me and throughout this whole Paul problem etc etc. you have been the only one who has bothered to talk to me properly and let me confide in you. You are the best friend that anyone could ever ask for , and why said "friend" - screw it - gemma-lou can not see that i do not know, but if she can not see this and learn to accept all of the changes around her than it is her problem. She herself is complaining about never getting 2 spend time wit u , but she is never taking the time out herself to try and go out eith you etc, or even go to your party, which i know really bugged you, and bugged me too, because she tried to give me the wrong time! You still made me laugh so mcuh when she said "you better come to my party!" because your face was like "oh my god, dont tell me what to do!" but anyway, gems taking the wrong actions by being so self obsessed and well just plain evil and she has been like that for the whole five and a half years i have known her. I mean as if we dont all have enough problems going on at the moment she goes and makes things even more complicteed with her patronising and harsh ways.
AAARRGGHHHHH - What will we do???!!
Chris :-)

p.s. dont forget - im here for you - WHENEVER u need to talk!
I don't know what to do - can someone show me the way?

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