she hurting me and she steals

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she hurting me and she steals

Postby midniteflower » Thu Jun 16, 2005 8:58 pm

ok
i am not sure where to begin.

i have a sister who is almost 5yrs younger then me.
the problem i have is firstly no atter what i do it is not good enough.
i give her money, gifts and visit her reguarly.

i didnt live wit her as my parents abused me. once they split i ended up livig with my mum adn had to run away as she carried on hurting me hile my sister stayed wit my dad.

my dad hasn't hurt my sister but at time he can be very harsh.

she belames me for living with mum whe i was 14. when she was 9. i am now 20.

she steals things also form the stop. she stole £80 of books, make and sweet in one day. Each week she steals and i am worried.
she has tried conuncelling but it hasnt help.
how at the age of 15 she goes atwice a week to the park with her mates to get drunk.

she is totally selfish and thinks only of her self and constandlly hurts people feeling.
she keeps dragging u my past when i was abused by saying i making up and also my depression.
he even had a go at me when i tried to talk to her about it.
she dissed me for cutting my self.

i have stopped and feel better but i have had to cut out my mum from my life from hurting me, i have not see her for 3yrs now.
i dotn want to cut out my sister but i not sure what else to do at times.
she needs help but instead she pushes every one away by hurting them.

i can carry on like this.
you don't know till you try
midniteflower
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Postby saz » Sun Jun 19, 2005 8:30 pm

From everything that you have said, both you and your sister have had a really traumatic upbringing. Although you feel you suffered your sister also did, maybe in different ways. And she is expressing her anger, frustration and hurt in a different way to you. You may be closest to her, and you get the brunt of it. She does need help and maybe you are not the right person to help her - and she has to want it for herself. She is being very destructive and this is quite typical with what she has gone through. It isnt you - it is feelings within her.

I think you need to keep supporting her emotionally, but maybe not financially and keep suggesting going for some counselling or help to deal with this anger, before she gets into serious trouble through stealing or drinking.

A lot of kids go out drinking - and often this is because they are hurting deep inside and it is a way of dealing with it. It is dangerous, but at this age sometimes it is hard for them to see what you are trying to say.

She may also be angry with you, when you self harm she feels angry at you - she doesn't want to lose you either. Keep talking and maybe listen to her and what she is trying to say.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
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