Please Help Me I Don't Know What To Do.

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Please Help Me I Don't Know What To Do.

Postby Beautiful_Disaster » Mon Oct 10, 2005 1:49 am

Hi. I've never posted on one of these before but I'm hoping you can help me...

My problem is my brother. At school he was quite shy, but he had always been quite a pleasant boy. That was until he started drinking. He goes out with his mate in the afternoon and comes home at 1 or 2 in the morning really really drunk. It's happening right now as it were, and that's why i'm up and not asleep.

He comes in and makes so much noise, most of the time he makes my mum or dad go and pick him up, even if they're in their bed. They are usually so worried about him they sit up and will pick him up irragardless of what time he calls at. I'll use tonight as an example. He came home and went into the kitchen, and ended up spilling stuff all over the place. My dad gets quite angry and started shouting, causing my brother to start shouting back, and quite soon it turned into a screaming match between the two. My brother tried to start a fight but my dad managed to keep his temper under control and my brother eventually calmed enough to lie on the floor. He countinued to shout and swear at my parents tho, and insulted pretty much all the members of my family. He seems to take everything the wrong way, and even threatens to kill himself. He says he is depressed but refuses to get any help.

He has been home for just under an hour now, and he is still screaming and shouting. It scares me so much because he always threatens to kill himself. The thing is, my parents always agree that something needs to be done, but the next morning they forget about it until the next time it happens, it happens at least once a week, sometimes 2 or 3 times.

I just don't know what to do. It really scares me when he comes in like this, I don't know how he seems to get himself into such a state. He's a year and half older than me, he's just turned 20 and i'm 18. He doesn't seem to have any aim in life, he's at his second year of Uni but he says he hates it and wants to drop out every time he gets drunk. He just seems to get so violent though i'm scared one day he will start a fight with someone, or even a group of people.

He refuses to discuss anything though, tonight i made a video on my phone so that I could show him how violent he gets when he is drunk, but i doubt it will make the slightest bit of difference.

I'm sorry for going on, I guess i just needed to let it all out, and if anyone has ANY advice, no matter how small, i would be so SO grateful.

Thanks for reading anyway :)
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Postby JennaXXX » Mon Oct 10, 2005 9:17 am

Your brother certainly does need some kind of help. It sounds to me as if your parents dont want to admit that and are worried about the consequences... Talk to them again seriously, show them the video and tell them it has to stop. You could also try talking to your brother and letting him know that if he needs to talk about anything you are there for him.
There are several helplines that you can call which are at the front page of this website so it might be worth calling them to ask for further advice.
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Postby Beautiful_Disaster » Mon Oct 10, 2005 11:30 am

Thank you so much for replying :)

I'll talk to my parents tonight when I get home from work. :)
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Postby Googy Egg » Sat Nov 11, 2006 1:10 am

Hello, I'm sorry to hear about your problems, they sound serious.

I don't know much about alcoholism except that I've heard it's like a disease. So perhaps it's something that your brother feels compelled to do rather than something he chooses to do. Does that make sense?

That being said this really is a job for your parents to deal with, I don't think it's fair that you are being forced into taking care of the whole family right now - of course you love your brother and you do have a part to play in his recovery...

Sounds like your mum and dad might be in denial a bit - they seem to think that the problem will just go away by itself - but you have a more realistic view.

Perhaps you can talk to them about anyone in their family history who may have had similar problems with alcohol - these things generally run in families (so I've heard) that way at least if there is a previous family member like that they can believe you when you say he needs help.

Anyway, I think you really do need professional help, addictions like alcohol are lifelong problems for the families concerned.

I hope everything works out alright for you,

From Googy Egg xxx
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Postby dappychick88 » Sun Dec 10, 2006 3:57 am

what you are saying is very scary indeed, and i can understand why you would want your brother to stop - i would if i was in your situation. although i can't completely relate to your situation, my dad is (and has been for years) a very heavy, violent alocholic.

every weekend i am supposed to stay with him, i dread, along with my younger brother and sister. although there are plenty of helplines and other forms of help which are on offer, your brother will only stop drinking and acting how he does if he wants to.

Unfortunately there is no way in which you can convince him to stop, but you can explain to him - when he is sober, what he is doing to himself and say that you are there to support him and always will be. don't put too much pressure on him or he will rebel, but just carefully guide him along, letting him know you are there.

I hope your situation resolves itself soon, good luck,

xxx
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