HELP!!!!! I need some help about my SISTER!

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HELP!!!!! I need some help about my SISTER!

Postby Danni87 » Tue Nov 29, 2005 12:29 pm

Hey! I have a problem with my sister. She is 16 years old. We are really really close. Recently i have moved away to uni, and im about 3 hours away. One of my sisters friends contacted me because they are worried about her!

Basically she has made a website and it is like a diary. In her "blogs" she constantly talks about things like "what is the point in life" and also about her problems with boys and friends. One of the most disturbing entries was when she spoke about a girl that contacted her, she feels the same as my sis, and thought it would be better if her life was over"

I immediatley panicked!!! I had no idea. My sister is a happy person. She has a fantastic life....she is very lucky.

So anyway. I spoke to my mum about it, and my mum gentley confronted her. Now i felt speaking to my sister was a urgent mattter. I didnt think it was appropriate for me to talk to her over the phone about it and that is why i told my mum.

She flipped out when my mum confronted her. She has told me that she will never forgive me for saying anything and that she really hates me. I fear she means it.

I was only doing it protect her. I hate knowing that my sister was miserable I love her sooooo much.

Do you think it is just a phase, or do you think it is more serious??? Do you think i was out of order? I feel sooo bad about it. :cry:

Please reply....i need help :(

Danielle :)
Last edited by Danni87 on Tue Nov 29, 2005 6:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby LICKLELEA » Tue Nov 29, 2005 12:42 pm

No you acted in the most caring way and I totally admire you for what you have done. I agree that speaking to her over the phone wouldn't have done much good as she probably would have hung up on you.

Your sister is hurt because she obviously didn't want you to know about her problems, this is because she is so close to you and probably doesn't want to let you down. I think that she will come around in time.

In the mean-time, why don't you write her a letter explaining how worried you are about her and how much you love her. If she won't speak to you I think it is the best way to get through to her, I would also send a little gift to try and cheer her up or at least to let her know that you are thinking about her (like something that says world's best sister or a picture frame of you two or something to remind her of happier times)

I certainly think you did the right thing and you shouldn't doubt yourself for one moment. I know it doesn't make you worry any less about her but just be there for her when she needs you, possibly suggest her coming to stay with you for a break (if thats possible). Good Luck with it all and I hope I've helped in a small way? xxx
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Postby lilessexgal » Tue Nov 29, 2005 5:42 pm

i agree write her a letter showing her how you feel. you seem like such a caring brother....one any sister would want. what she says is probably just through anger because she is obviously having problems.

tell her you wouldnt of told your mum if you werent at uni because you would of been there for her to talk to and that you were just doing it all for her sake.

if she says the letter she will probably realise she took it the wrong way and write you a letter back explaining everything.
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Thanks

Postby Danni87 » Tue Nov 29, 2005 8:43 pm

Thank you sooo much for your help. I really do appreciate it. I love my sister so much. I dont know how to cope if she carries on like this. It was kind of you both to say that i had done the right thing...it makes me feel much better!

Ill keep you posted on the whole letter situation. Danni x

p.s i'm a girl (hehe) :P
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Hiya

Postby rainbow-fairy » Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:12 am

Hiya hun,

Hey huni you should be real proud of yourself for being able to let your mum in on it and helping your sister =D> , in time your sister will see you have her best interest at heart and be able too understand why you had to speak about it, at the moment she is abit immature to be reasoned with i also have a little bruv and sis so now what its like to try and watch out for them and have thier best interest at heart, dont worry hun in time she will see you did it for her benefit and forgive you.
Take care hun xx

Much love Rainbow xx
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Postby peecee » Wed Nov 30, 2005 12:56 am

Nothing new to add to this thread, just wanted to say that I agree you did absolutely the right thing!

I didn't do nearly enough for my younger sister when we were growing up but, in something like this, I would have done what you did.

What else could you have done???

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Postby lilessexgal » Wed Nov 30, 2005 5:22 pm

im so sorry i new that i think it was because when i was sitting posting that i must of been thinking something else and accidently said brother :oops:

anyways please keep us posted and good luck!

x x x x
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Postby Brown_Eyed_Girl » Wed Nov 30, 2005 7:53 pm

Hey,

I just wanna say you did the right thing, too. It's only natural to panic, and there was nothing else you could have done than to talk to your mum.

Like rainbow-fairy has said, she will forgive you in time and she will see that you did it only for her benefit. It's just hard for her to understand this because it's at a time in her life when she doesn't want her family (despite writing in a blog...but anyway..) to know she feels; because it hurts and maybe she didn't wanna burden anybody, or maybe she just found it too hard to talk about. She may be angry now, but she will soon realise what a relief it is for family to know and be able to support her. It's probably just the initial thought of family knowing how she feels that makes her mad, when she'd rather keep it to herself.

It may be a phase, but it may also have spiralled into something more.

I hope everything goes okay.
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:( Bad news

Postby Danni87 » Thu Dec 01, 2005 1:08 pm

Hi. After i read all of your replies i decided to write a letter to my sister. It went on for ages..i explained everything and how much i care about her,and didnt mean to hurt her. I just basically said, that if she ever needed to talk, she can trust me, and i will do my best for her.

About 15 minutes ago i got an email from her...i dont think the letter worked

She replied saying "I hate you...why do you always poke your nose in? You just dont get it do you! You always make things about you! What i wrote was private. i didnt want to do anything to myself, i was just having a bad day! You dont know anything about me anymore! You think i'm like you and i'm not! I'm sick of being compared to you! Your not as perfect as everyone makes out! Your will always be my sister...BUT YOUR NOT MY FRIEND! SO JUST BACK OFF AND STAY OUT OF MY LIFE"

I just dont understand. All i know is that at least i tried. Im dreading going back home at christmas. Oh well :(

Danni x
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Postby LICKLELEA » Thu Dec 01, 2005 1:27 pm

Don't worry, I'm sure she will come round. She is still very upset as she didn't want you to know.

Well at least she said that she doesn't want to do anything to herself and thats the main thing.

I think there is definately some sibling jealousy going on though and maybe that she resents you for going to university. She is definately acting in a childish way for a 16 year old and I really think its just a phase.

I wouldn't worry too much about christmas, there is a few weeks left so she may well of calmed down by then xx
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Re: :( Bad news

Postby lilessexgal » Thu Dec 01, 2005 1:41 pm

right hun fist off all dont get too upset she is obviously just a bit annoyed at the moment. that thing she wrote on the website she said was suppose to be private but im sorry she obviously wanted someone to notice or else she shouldnt of written it on there.

if i was you id leave it a bit let her calm down and hopefully she will soon realise she doesnt want to lose you as a friend like you have always been.

it sounds to me as if she is a bit jealous of you and that could be causing some of her anger.

it could just be a phaze and also she did say she wasnt going to do anything to herself so at least you know that for sure.

keep your chin up x x x x
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Re: :( Bad news

Postby all_apologies » Thu Dec 01, 2005 1:48 pm

lilessexgal wrote:im sorry she obviously wanted someone to notice or else she shouldnt of written it on there.



I totally agree. By the sounds of it, she was probably looking for a bit of attention from people viewing her website, but wasn't expecting her family to read it. I reckon she's likely to be feeling a bit embarrassed at the moment, hence why she's lashing out at you.

It'll blow over though, after all you only sought help because you were worried about her and she can't exactly hate you for caring about her! Don't worry too much, just don't mention it at all and act like it's forgotten. If she's shamefaced she probably never wants it to be mentioned again!
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Postby CFG » Thu Dec 01, 2005 1:51 pm

I think you did the right thing. She's reacting in that way probably because she's worried that you've told your mum and she's going to get in some kind of trouble. She's maybe a bit embarrassed, too?

Besides, how can she say what she wrote was "private" when she put it on an internet blog site? Maybe you should advise her to keep private journals in a notebook under her mattress if she doesn't want people to read them.
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Yay!

Postby Danni87 » Thu Dec 01, 2005 11:41 pm

Hey! Good news at last. My sister phoned me a few minutes ago. She was crying and saying how upset she was with herself. She said she feels really bad about what she said and didnt mean it (im not so sure if she really didnt mean it, it seemed like she did. By i dont care at the moment! Im soooooooo happy that we are ok!) I will take things one step at a time and maybe when im back home have a word with her....you know see if she wants to talk about anything. But nothing big at the moment :D

I just wanna say a BIG HUGE MASSIVE thank you to everyone that has helped me! I REALLY REALLY appreciate it! Its sooo cool on here....Your all a little community.

I am gonna hang around and try and help others like u guys!!!
THANK YOU!!!!!
Danni x :P
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Postby LICKLELEA » Fri Dec 02, 2005 11:53 am

Wow thanks fantastic news!! I'm so happy that its worked out for you. At least you can have a good xmas together now.

Nice one xx
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